Like You Hate Me (Hawthorne University #1)

by Bethany Winters

“Happy birthday, Xav,” he says softly.

i’m ab to sob

“Why are you being so nice to me?” I rasp, pushing his chest until he’s lying on his back, rubbing my hard dick against his. “Why did you spend the day with me, Nate?” “Because I wanted to.” “Why?” He hesitates before he admits, “Because I didn’t wanna be alone.” I pause when he says that, and he snatches my waist again, forcing me to keep moving. “I didn’t want you to be alone. Not today.”

“I’ll go if I want to.” “The fuck you will.”

He melts against me almost instantly, like a little bitch who can’t get enough, desperate for my attention.

His head is too messed up for me to even attempt it, but I can tell he’s nervous, and I love it. I love the way he acts when I’m around, like he’s constantly on edge, waiting for me to punch him. Or fuck him.

I licked it so it’s mine. Smiling a little, I toss the picture back into the box and gently set the lid on top. “Too bad, little sister,” I whisper. “He’s mine now.”

He’s wearing the tightest pair of jeans he owns and a black fishnet crop top. It’s long sleeved, but the hem is high, sitting just below his nipples.

he’s so cooper koch coded

“Fuck.” Yeah. Fuck. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I hate him, but I can’t stay away from him. The way I’m pulled toward him…I’m fucking powerless to stop it.

“They’re in the way,” I tell him, spreading my fingers over his ass and squeezing. “I wanna see the shape of this ass every time you move tonight.”

“You really gonna let him wear that?” “He can wear what he wants.” I run the backs of my fingers over Xavi’s waist chain, looking at him again. “No one’s gonna get near him.”

“If you even try to make me jealous tonight, I’ll fuck you so hard and for so long, you’ll never want dick again by the time I’m done with you.” “I’m not gonna try to make you jealous.” His arms come around my neck, his breath tickling my jaw. “I’m not trying to make you mad, Nate. I just wanted to look good for you.” My groan slips free, and I grab his hips, rubbing myself on him to show him how hard he’s making me. “You look so good, baby,” I rasp, cupping his face to study the eyeliner he’s wearing. “So pretty.”

Taking his wrist, I ignore the way Carter’s gaping at us

HELP

“Nate…” he warns, swallowing when my lips brush his piercing. “Nate, someone could recognize you.” “Would you believe me if I told you you’re worth it?” I ask, and he narrows his pretty eyes into slits. “No.”

“Baby…” “Hm?” “What have you got in your ass?” “A plug.” I curse, and he grins proudly, his eyes closing as he continues dancing against me. “You’re such a slut.” I take his face in my hands, waiting for him to look at me again. “Did you put it in for me? So you’re nice and ready for my dick as soon as we get home?” He nods. “Good boy,”

He looks so fucking sexy up there. He’s moving like a stripper, slowly rolling his hips from side to side with his hands on his waist, his stomach, up over his neck and into his hair. His grin is huge, but I bet he doesn’t realize how many people are watching his little show right now, drawn to him like moths to a flame. It’s kind of funny. Cocky little thing like him has no idea how beautiful he is.

“That was one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen.” “What was?” “You,” she says, smiling fondly at the confused frown on his face. “You really have no idea how hot you are, do you? It makes you even hotter.”

“Why do you always fuck me with your clothes on?” “Because you want me to take them off,” he says simply, his touch light as he fingers the chain on my waist. “I like the way you act like a spoiled bitch when you don’t get what you want.” “I’m not a bitch.” “Those hickeys on your neck say bitch,” he taunts me, repeating the exact same words Easton said to me yesterday. “My bitch.”

“I like this,” he whispers, flicking his tongue over my piercing before he sucks on it. “Do you?” I ask distractedly, too focused on the way his hands feel in mine.

“You don’t like it when I hold your hand, but you want me to make you feel special by fucking you bare,” he says slowly. “Make that make sense.”

“I want to mean something to you,” I admit. “Anything. I want you to remember me after you decide you’re done with me and kick me out of your life for good. I wanna ruin you so bad that it’s me you’ll think about every time you’re fucking the person you really wanna be with.”

“You wanna ruin my life, party boy?” “You’ve already ruined mine,”

“Do I feel good?” I ask. “So good,” he breathes out, leaning over me to speak against my lips. “You love this, don’t you? Making me lose my damn mind…”

“Why don’t you wear makeup anymore?” “What?” “I like it when you wear it,” he says, swiping his thumbs over the black smudges beneath my eyes. “It’s sexy when it runs down your face like this.”

“I’m not that easy.” I keep playing, smirking as I lean up on my forearms and tease his mouth with mine. “It took you five years to get inside me.” “Baby, I could have had you in five minutes if I wanted you.” He closes the small gap between us, sucking on my lip. “Easy.”

“Xavi, I knew you were gay the first time I saw you.” “Good for you, but I didn’t.”

I’m done playing. I’m fucking done letting him break me.

Every time I’ve thought about him this week, all I can picture is me standing outside his bedroom the night of his birthday, hearing his soft cries through the door after he found the box of pictures I left him. I wanted to go in there, but I didn’t. I left him to his misery and proceeded to keep pretending he means nothing to me. And the way I treated him tonight… I don’t know why I feel so guilty about it. He deserves everything I throw at him, but…

“You think it’s easy for him to ignore you like this?” He kneels up on the edge to level with me, snatching my wrists when I try to back away. “You think he likes pushing you away when all he wants is to keep you at his side?” “What?” I ask again, unsure what else to say. “He’s fallen for you, you idiot,”

“Baby, he’s balls deep in love with you and he hates you for it. That’s why he’s treating you like shit. That’s probably why he’s always treated you like shit.”

“I can’t believe I’m riskin’ another black eye for this,” he mumbles. “You better think about me when he’s fucking you tonight.” “I’ll never think about you when he’s inside me.” He hums next to my ear. “Say that to him next time I come up,” he suggests. “Trust me, he’ll like it.”

“You’re so good at this, baby boy,” he groans, running his hands over my sides and down to my lower back. “You’re perfect.” His praise lights me the fuck up, his teeth nipping my lip while I ride him harder. “Carter calls me that.” “I don’t give a shit what he calls you.” He grabs my ass, holding me down on him possessively. “You’re not his. You’re mine. My baby boy…”

“God, Nate, keep talking like that,” I beg, working my fist over my dick between our bodies. “You like it when I call you mine?” I nod, rolling my head back when he moves his mouth down to my throat and brands my skin with more of his marks. “Show me,” he rasps, licking over the bruises. “Show me how bad you want me to keep you.”

“That’s it, baby,” he says softly, somehow knowing I’m almost there. “Come on. You can do it.”

“No. My legs are on fire,” I tell him, smiling into his neck when he massages my outer thighs, kneading the flesh beneath his palms. “That’s cute.” “Shut up.”

“I’m not sleeping in here with you.” “Why not?” “You know why not,” I say angrily. “You just wanna fuck with me before you snatch it all away again.” “I won’t,” he promises. “Not this time.”

laughing under my breath as I pick up my menu. “You’re fucking cute.” His eyes fly back to mine. “What?”

Swallowing, I reach out and grab Katy’s list off my nightstand, feeling myself crumble while I read what she wrote at the bottom of the page. She knew. She always fucking knew.

“Do you really expect me to forget what you did?” “I don’t want you to forget,” he whispers, holding my gaze as he blinks the fresh tears from his eyes. “I just want you to love me anyway.”

“I don’t love you, party boy,” I say, channeling every ounce of hate I have left. “It’s just a game.” He nods, expecting that, his eyes darkening as he works his jaw. “You’re a fucking liar.”

“Xavi, if you walk out that door—” It closes behind him, and I startle, frowning at it while I wait for him to come back. He doesn’t come back.

“You told him I was in love with him, Carter!” I shout. “You know me better than anyone and now you’re acting like he’s nothing to me.” He frowns at me over his shoulder, looking genuinely confused, his face smushed up against the mirror. “If he’s not nothing, then what is he?” “He’s everything, you idiot,”

“He’s mine,” I tell him, not even bothering to lower my voice. “He’s always been mine. Even when you thought he was yours, it was always me he was thinking about. Every fucking time.” His lip curls, and he tries to spit at me, so I grab the little cockroach by his jaw and force his mouth shut. “If I ever hear your name from my boy’s lips again, I’ll make you wish you’d never met him.”

“I’m telling you he’s not worth it.” “You are though.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” He frowns at that. “You wouldn’t have come.” I open my mouth, then close it again, shaking my head at how clueless he is.

“Jesus Christ. I love you, okay?” I damn near shout, pushing him down on his back and crawling on top of him. “I hate myself for it but I fucking love you.” “That’s sweet.”

“I would have come,” I finally say, my lips brushing the damp hair at the nape of his neck. Silence follows, but I know he heard me because he’s stopped breathing. “I know you probably don’t believe me, but it’s the truth. I would have come for you, Xav.”

“Trust me, that boy’ll walk outta the closet with no shame if it’s you standing next to him. He’d do anything for you, Nate. You know that.”

“I love you,” he finally says. “I’ve always loved you.” “I know,” I tease, brushing my lips against his. “I just wanted to hear you say it to me.”

“Do you think she’s prettier than me?” “Baby, nobody’s prettier than you,”

“Cross it out, Xav.” Still smiling, he draws a line through the three words Katy wrote at the bottom of her list. Nate and Xavi <3