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Without belief in God he could not live, yet he could not believe in God.
Religious doctrine is professed far away from life and independently of it. If it is encountered, it is only as an external phenomenon disconnected from life.
Looking back on that time, I now see clearly that my faith—my only real faith—that which, apart from my animal instincts, gave impulse to my life—was a belief in perfecting myself.
I felt that what I had been standing on had collapsed, and that I had nothing left under my feet. What I had lived on no longer existed; and there was nothing left to live on.
“Is there any meaning in my life that the inevitable death awaiting me does not destroy?”
The conception of God is something I can evoke or can refrain from evoking in myself.
