Compassion makes us sensitive to the individuality, depth, and vulnerability of loved ones. It makes us appreciate that they are different from us, with a separate set of experiences, a different temperament, and, of course, different vulnerabilities to fear and shame, all of which leads them to give different meanings to the same behaviors. For example, when a woman tells her partner that they “need to talk,” she means that she wants to feel closer to him. He thinks she wants to tell him yet again that he's failing her. Without compassion, neither of you can understand your differences, even
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