Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion

by Marlene Winell

In conservative Christianity you are told you are unacceptable. You are judged with regard to your relationship to God. Thus you can only be loved positionally, not essentially. And, contrary to any assumed ideal of Christian love, you cannot love others for their essence either. This is the horrible cost of the doctrine of original sin.

The truth is that children will adjust their views of reality to survive, sustaining a belief in their parents no matter what, because that is all they have. To question is essentially to risk death.

Since the source of all the benefits offered is external, requiring dependence on God and the church, internal resources atrophy. This process degrades the self and becomes a serious threat to human well-being.

Fundamentalism preys on the normal concerns people have by painting the world as completely out of control and humans as essentially helpless.

Especially for children, with their vivid imaginations and unclear notions of reality, the imagery of a fiery hell is intensely frightening. (A parent threatening a child with such tortures before death can easily be seen as abusive.)

The notion of personal responsibility in fundamentalism is a curious one. You are responsible for your sins, but you cannot take credit for the good things that you do. Any good that you do must be attributed to God working through you. Yet you must try to be Christ-like. When you fail, it is your fault for not “letting the power of God work in you.” This is an effective double bind of responsibility without ability.

But, since people naturally have needs and feelings, sincere Christians who want to avoid guilt must, in essence, annihilate themselves.

Never is it thought that God’s behavior is dishonest and crafty, hardly worthy of a god.

The latter usually boil down to the belief that it is necessary for parents to break the will of their children to gain their respect and obedience.