Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion

by Marlene Winell

I asked Mom about our early years, about what it was like to have three small children and be so busy with work. I tried to empathize with the pressure she must have felt in juggling family and career, but to no avail. Mom said, “I didn’t neglect my children!” She couldn’t even imagine that there was any issue that could have affected her children. In another conversation, I pointed out that there were no close relationships between the siblings. Some of us barely speak. We avoid each other, and when there is contact, the hostility is so close to the surface that it flares up at the slightest provocation. She denied every example. She only felt criticized and incredulous that I would make things up. In her mind, the family was fine in the past and is still fine. The next day she avoided me. After that, when I indicated that we were not finished, she smiled her dismissal, kissed me, and said that we should look forward to good things in the future. Slam. End of story.

I dont understand any of this