Welcome to the Monkey House
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Read between December 19, 2019 - February 24, 2020
4%
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Some things about living still weren’t quite right, though. April, for instance, still drove people crazy by not being springtime.
10%
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The pills were ethical because they didn’t interfere with a person’s ability to reproduce, which would have been unnatural and immoral. All the pills did was take every bit of pleasure out of sex. Thus did science and morals go hand in hand.
10%
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America had changed in many ways, but it had yet to adopt the metric system.
12%
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On the wall of her office was a sign that said, YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE CRAZY TO WORK HERE, BUT IT SURE HELPS, and another one that said THIMK!, and another one that said, SOMEDAY WE’RE GOING TO HAVE TO GET ORGANIZED AROUND HERE.
50%
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Life has left no marks on him, because he hasn’t paid much attention to it.
67%
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He was and still is the sweetest person you’d ever want to know, but, back when he was stuck with that body, nobody got close enough to find out.
68%
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Konigswasser got a look at the victim’s face and said he’d never seen a better reason for suicide.
68%
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Nobody but a saint could be really sympathetic or intelligent for more than a few minutes at a time in a body—or happy, either, except in short spurts.
86%
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Over several days the contractor went about his tasks, focusing on one part of the job at a time, one board and nail and section of sheetrock in turn, from foundation to sidewalls to roof, making adjustments as he moved toward the goal for which he had been hired. When it was done, the contractor stood back to admire the finished product. “How the hell did I ever do that?” he exclaimed in astonishment.
87%
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customers have a choice of “28 flavors of ice cream, 8 flavors of death,” the two most popular being “butter-crunch and carbon monoxide.”