Purge

by Sarah Darer Littman

I love eating, but hate having eaten. I hate barfing, but love having purged.

There are times when I wish more than anything that I could turn off my brain, turn off that constantly critical voice inside,

Thinking about how much better off I would be with me gone, because when I was dead, I could finally stop hating myself.

When I’m feeling anxious about a situation that could have multiple outcomes, I think of what the absolutely worst outcome could be — and I try to accept it.