Purge

by Sarah Darer Littman

On paper, I don’t have to smile and pretend I’m fine even though inside I feel like I’m breaking into a thousand tiny fragments too small ever to be put together again.

I agree.

The funny thing is I’ve always hated puking. You probably think that’s a strange thing to hear from someone who stands in front of a toilet and sticks her finger down her throat five or six times a day. But it’s true.

What I don’t understand is this: How did something I hate so much end up controlling every moment of my life?

But that’s the way it is with Mom. If you have a cold, she has to have the flu.

Yep.

Dr. Pardy has been taking notes on her clipboard, but now she looks around the group. It’s obvious that Royce has just earned himself a nice long “vacation” in Eating Disorder Hell.

I just have to be me, Janie Ryman, and if that’s not good enough for people, then, as Missy would say, “Fuck ’em!”

Yasss girl!