Relationships: A Mess Worth Making

by Timothy S. Lane

Weak and needy people finding their hope in Christ’s grace are what mark a mature relationship.

The most dangerous aspect of your relationships is not your weakness, but your delusions of strength.

The fact that our relationships work as well as they do is a sure sign of grace

Considering our sin, it is amazing that people get along at all!

If you look for God in your relationships, you will always find things to be thankful for.

Jesus was willing to become the forsaken friend so that we could have loving friendships. Jesus was willing to be the rejected Lord so that we could live in loving submission to one another.

Our relationships must be shaped not by what we want, but by what God intends.

If you don’t see that you are dependent upon God, it is unlikely that you will be humbly dependent on others.

We make a mistake when we measure our potential to deal with difficulty by the size and duration of the problem. We should be measuring our potential according to the size of God’s provision and the promise of his eternal presence.

Paul grounds our unity in the unity of the Trinity, not in our ability to get along.

That is, God chooses to surround us with people who are different from us because he knows it will promote his purpose.

Good relationships are always built on the foundation stones of identity and worship.

Your heart is always with you,

Much of the drama of God’s people is a drama of identity.

Who you tell yourself you are has a very powerful impact on the way you deal with the big and small issues of daily life.

Much of the disappointment and heartache we experience is the result of our attempts to get something from relationships that we already have in Christ.

When I relate to you knowing that I am God’s child and the recipient of his grace, I am able to serve and love you.

If I do not see the wise work of the Creator when I look at you, it will affect the way I relate to you.

When you are sinned against, you will be impacted by the weaknesses and failures of that other person. When this happens, you need to allow God to use you as an instrument in his redemptive hands, rather than seeking to make changes in the other person yourself. Only God can accomplish these things. Are you trying to do work in someone’s life that only the Savior can do?

As sinners we want what we want when we want it, and we often see others as obstacles.

Paul says I should never say anything to you that is not helpful for you.

Since God is focused on remaking you into his image, I should speak in a way that builds you up.

Often we choose to say the right thing in the wrong way or at the wrong time. But the communication process, as much as the content of the words, needs to benefit the person.

Asking your husband to consider how you hurt him as he is trying to get to sleep is not helpful.

If He does not support us, not one of us is safe from some gross sin.

God uses it to get us where he wants to take us before we die. Because we don’t usually think that trials can be used in such a positive way, this truth catches us by surprise. But it shouldn’t. All kinds of suffering, including conflict with others, can be redemptive because of the grace of God.

It’s inevitable. If you live with other sinners, you will have conflict.