Cave In The Snow: A Western Woman's Quest for Enlightenment

by Vicki Mackenzie

Tenzin Palmo, it seemed, had learnt the lesson of detachment. It was a fundamental Buddhist tenet, deemed essential for getting anywhere on the

path to perf...

Awakening, had exclaimed: ’This thing is hard to believe. Wherefore, because the body of a woman is filthy and not a vessel of the Law.’

“I have been thinking about it and the answer is ‘no’, there are no advantages whatsoever.” I thought, one advantage is that we don’t have a male ego.’

The meditator had to visualize peeling the skin off to examine what really was there – the guts, the blood, the pus, the waste matter. The Buddha’s purpose was twofold: to create detachment from our obsession with our own body and to

lessen our attraction to other people’s bodies. The idea is that one is much less fascinated when one sees a skeleton stuffed with guts, blood and faeces!

Even the male prostitutes that do exist are there to satisfy other men,’ she said, warming to her theme.

The vow to attain Enlightenment as a woman.

Tenzin Palmo was about to be privy to one of the most mystic and powerful rituals that existed in Tibetan Buddhism.

Said to be made from the hair of 100,000 Dakinis (powerful female spirits),

the black hat or crown was regarded as a mystic object...

At night they would sit out in the cold, damp air, their bodies wrapped in wet sheets, learning to dry them through the force of raising the mystic inner heat, tumo.

’They told me that in Tibet when they were chosen to be Togdens and taken up to the caves they were so excited because they felt that now they were going to become yogis. But for the first three years they were instructed to do nothing but watch their mind and practice Bodhicitta, the altruistic mind.

’The amazing thing about these yogis is that they are so ordinary,’

‘If anyone asks you what realizations you have gained you reply “Nothing",because compared to the Buddhas it is nothing.

Like all journeys taken with a spiritual goal in mind, the way into Lahoul was strewn with difficulties and dangers, as if such obstacles were deliberately set in place by the heavenly powers in order to test the resolve of the spiritual seeker.

When she got to the bottom she found she had entered another world. ‘It was like arriving in Shangri-la.

one of the oldest and most potent strongholds of Buddhism in the world. It had been in existence for centuries – first fed by the influx of refugees fleeing the Islamic invasion (which sacked the great monastic universities existing in India at that time) and then nourished by a constant stream of accomplished yogis from both neighbouring Ladakh and Tibet. Secreted away in these vast mountains and narrow valleys, Buddhism had flourished, spurred on by the efforts of the many mystical hermits who took to the caves in the area to practise in solitude.

’Saab Chomo’(European nun),

rented room to rented room she was finally given her own home, one of the small stone and mud houses on the hill behind the temple where all the individual monks and nuns lived.

Tenzin Palmo now entered an extremely pleasant phase of her life. She was content at last.

The long snow-bound winter months provided the most perfect opportunity to enter prolonged retreat – the absolutely necessary prerequisite for spiritual advancement.

not shared by the rest of the community. ‘You will need eighteen cups and plates,’ instructed an old nun ...

‘You see, dear, in the winter we all get together and have dinner parties. There are eighteen of us so when we come to your house you’ll need eighteen cups and plates,’ the nun replied.

‘Well, for one thing if anyone comes they can bring their own eating utensils, and for another I’m intending to spend the winter meditating,’ responded the Western convert, single-minded and forthright as ever. She proceeded to do just that, following the prescribed meditational practices advised by Khamtrul Rinpoche that would provide the essential foundation for the long retreats that were

to follow in t...

She did them diligently, as well as studying the sacred texts and refining her knowledge of the Buddhist canon. Here, in Lahoul, with no one speaking English, her Tibetan took a quantum leap.

autumn, after the harvest, there was a special period when we did the traditional alms rounds in the surrounding villages,’ she recalled. ‘You go to each house. Outside you say a blessing prayer and then someone leans out and calls you in. They get out their best carpet, their best china and silver and lay it out on their special little Tibetan tables. You’d go in and sit down and recite the best loved prayers such as the Twenty-one Praises to Tara – to bring them blessings and protection. They’d give you salt tea, sweet tea and their home-brewed bean chang to drink.

Life went on in this manner for six years.

Once, in 1973, she made her way back to England to see her mother. It was her first visit to her homeland in ten years, and was to prove an eye-opener.

Lee had moved from Bethnal Green to fashionable Knightsbridge, in the heart of London’s West End, where she had taken a job as housekeeper to a wealthy Canadian

who had an opulent apartm...

‘I was so bored. The London water I found undrinkable. I had to drink fruit juices all the time, I couldn’t even drink tea. It made me sick. The food was so rich it made my head feel as if it was stuffed with black cotton wool.

I got electric shocks from everything I touched and I felt

tired all the time. “If ever you think that happiness depends on external factors, remem...

With remarkable equanimity she learnt to let go – and somehow managed to survive.

’There have been times when I have had no money, not even for a cup of tea. I can remember one time in Dalhousie when I didn’t have anything left. Not a single rupee. I had nowhere to live, and nothing to buy food with. I stood on the top of a hill with waves of isolation and insecurity running over me. And then I thought, if you really take refuge in the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha (the monastic community), as we all do at our ordination, and sincerely practise, then you really shouldn’t be concerned. Since that time I have stopped worrying,’ she said nonchalantly.

‘I have learnt not to be scared. It’s not important. The money appears

from somewhere, usually the exact amount I need, and nothing more. For example, one time I needed £80 for a train fare to visit friends. I had arrived with just £10 in my purse. On the day I was leaving the woman I was staying with handed me an envelope with a donation of just £80 in it. I thanked her and laughed. It ...

In spite of being out of the workforce for ten years, Tenzin Palmo was so efficient at her job they begged her to stay on to co-ordinate the whole project.

There were all these middle-aged guys saying, “What have I done with my life?" and young married people

with mortgages, already trapped. All they talked about was what was on TV. I was in my robes and because of that they opened up. They told me about their lives and used to ask me all sorts of questions they were very interested in my way of life and what it meant,’she said.

More than once she was approached in social gatherings and told she looked like St Francis of Assisi.

One well-dressed man stopped her in Hyde Park and told her she looked so chic that she must be French.

Conversation started up and they explained that they were on their way to arrest a man in a Welsh village for murder.

‘Can you tell me anything that will help me make sense of my life?’ asked the Inspector, obviously depressed by his mission.

Finally she had earned enough money and was off, back to her beloved India.

This was an offer she couldn’t refuse. The Bhikshuni ordination meant nothing less than official and full admittance into the Buddhist order with all the authority and prestige that that entailed. It was a gem all Buddhist nuns yearned for, and few ever received.

Tenzin Palmo made the headlines.

Once again she was the first Western woman to take such a step and the Chinese occupants of the former British colony were mesmerized.