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What we do know is that depression is painful and, if you have never experienced it, hard to understand. Like most forms of suffering, it feels private and isolating.
It is common for spiritually mature men and women who feel depressed to think that they are doing something wrong. After all, Scripture is filled with words of joy and happy hearts. When they aren’t feeling happy, they feel that they must be missing something or that God is punishing them until they learn some hidden lesson.
When your emotions feel muted or always low, when you are unable to experience the highs and lows you once did, the important question is not “How can I figure out what I have done wrong?” but it is, “Where do I turn—or, to whom do I turn—when I am depressed?” Some turn toward their beds and isolation; others turn toward other people. Some turn away from God; others turn toward him.
Suffering is not a journey we should take alone. There are too many places where we are tempted to give up and too many times we can’t see clearly.
On this side of heaven we walk by faith and don’t have all the answers we would like. But there is reason to believe that you will find certain hopes fulfilled even on this side of paradise.
The only thing you know is that you are guilty, shameful, and worthless. It is not that you have made mistakes in your life or sinned or reaped futility. It is that you are a mistake; you are sin; you are futility. “In this regard, depression can be a form of self-punishment, however subconsciously or involuntarily administered.”16 God has turned his back. Why bother going on in such a state? You might as well join God and turn your back on yourself too.
think in terms of various depressions rather than depression. Though there is a common experience, there is not a common cause.
The concern at this point is not whether or not you are taking medication, but that medication does not become your only plan of attack. Even if medication relieves some of the burden of depression, it may be functioning like aspirin. That is, it takes away some of the symptoms but the root problems persist.
You can be assured of this: God really does speak in our suffering, and we have good reason to believe that the words he says are good and powerful enough to lighten our pain.
James intentionally enlarges the scope of suffering when he writes, “trials of many kinds.” By doing this, he invites those who experience depression to learn that, whatever the cause, depression will test our faith and serve as a catalyst for growth rather than a reason for despair.
Other people are one cause of hardship-depression.
We, too, are a cause of suffering. Our rage causes divorce and subsequent aloneness. Our stealing causes imprisonment. Our addictions destroy our relationships and our bodies. Don’t be surprised if you find things within yourself—fears, anger and selfish desires—lurking behind some depression. Anger, especially, is a notorious cause.
Our bodies are another obvious cause of suffering.
Satan is a fourth cause of human suffering.
It is very difficult to discern Satan’s contributions to depression. More recognizable, however, is how Satan might seek to influence us after we are depressed. Any prolonged suffering can become an occasion to question the goodness of God. As soon as that question comes, Satan sits down next to us and tries to confirm our suspicions.
God himself is a cause of suffering. “God sometimes puts his children to bed in the dark,” is the way an old preacher put it.
God is over all things, and nothing happens apart from his knowledge and will. By the time suffering or depression comes to our doorstep, God did it. To believe anything else is to opt for a universe that is random and out of control, without a guiding hand bringing all things to a purposeful and awe-inspiring conclusion.
The reason Scripture doesn’t give clear guidelines for assigning responsibility is that it is not essential for us to know precise causes. This is good news: you don’t have to know the exact cause of suffering in order to find hope and comfort.
Instead of teaching us how to identify the causes of suffering, Scripture directs us to the God who knows all things and is fully trustworthy. In other words, Scripture doesn’t give us knowledge so that we will have intellectual mastery of certain events; it gives us knowledge so that we would know and trust God. “God, I don’t know what you are doing, but you do, and that is enough.” Somehow, turning to God and trusting him with the mysteries of suffering is the answer to the problem of suffering.
Relabeling depression as suffering has important implications and is truly hopeful.
When dire circumstances continue their assault, you might notice the paradox of being an “atheistic believer.” In other words, you might acknowledge that God exists, yet that reality doesn’t make any difference in your life. You feel increasingly isolated and alone. The more extreme the suffering, the more intense is the sense of aloneness. If God exists, you think, it certainly doesn’t feel like he does.
Numbness, pain, and worship don’t seem to go together. But at least consider who God is. Depression both requires this and avoids it. It requires it because all suffering leads to questions about the character of God, but it avoids it because no one naturally pursues God. Suffering makes him seem all the more distant and disinterested.
Jesus is the most complete expression of God’s person to us. In him you can take your pick of what is surprising. Here is one: Jesus shared in our sufferings.
The cross is the only evidence that can fully persuade you that God is, at all times, good and generous. There is no arguing with someone who is willing to make this ultimate sacrifice. If someone gives his only child for you, you can’t doubt that person’s love.
God is good and he is generous. He is not stingy. He commands his people not to covet because it is a form of denying his generosity. He is not trying to hold out on you until you are whipped into shape. Demons would have you believe such things. Instead, he says, “Open wide your mouth and I will fill it” (Ps. 81:10). He invites us to the most lavish of banquets, and all he requires is that we are hungry and bring nothing (Isa. 55:1–3).
You must do battle at this point with depression’s tendencies toward passivity. Don’t wait to have faith inserted into your heart. Seek the Lord. If there is any guarantee in Scripture, it is that he will reveal more and more of himself to those who seek him.
You are standing at a crossroads, and you will take one path or another. There is no such thing as not choosing because “not choosing” is one of the paths. It, too, is a choice. Your decision is between calling out to the Lord or not. This is the choice that has confronted those in misery throughout history.
What these psalms do is straighten the trajectory of our lives. Using the words he gives us, God gently turns our hearts toward him. Instead of everything bending back into ourselves, we are able to look straight, outside of ourselves, and fix our eyes on Jesus (Heb. 12:2).
Keep this pattern in mind. It is the path of hope. The fact that all your thoughts turn back on yourself is oppressive. The self cannot carry the load. The way we were intended to function was to be able to look outward, toward God and other people.
Faith is not the presence of warm religious feeling. It’s the knowledge that you walk before the God who hears.
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge. (Ps. 62:8)
During times of suffering and difficulty, spiritual warfare is virtually guaranteed.
You too are vulnerable. You might be loyal to beliefs that are wrong but highly resistant to change. For example, since you feel like you are a burden to your family and you feel like they would be better off without you, you believe that is the truth. All their protests and expressions of love will not persuade you to change your mind. If you feel that God has abandoned you, then you believe that he actually has. Nothing will persuade you otherwise. In other words, feelings can lie.
You are spiritually vulnerable → your emotions are so powerful that they skew your interpretations → Satan attacks → you swear allegiance to your most pessimistic interpretation no matter what others say.
Remember that you have an enemy. Follow the lead of wise people who begin each day by actually saying, “Today, I must be alert that I have an enemy.” Ask others to remind you, and be quick to remind others. Realize that you are walking where rebels are known to be in the area. Their lives are devoted to your destruction.
Assume that warfare rages. Don’t even bother looking for signs of warfare. Just assume that you are in the thick of it.
Don’t think that your case is unique. This popular lie questions God’s care: all sufferers are tempted to believe that their suffering is unique. This lie immediately renders all counsel irrelevant because no one understands and no advice applies.
Know Christ. Satan’s energies zero in on one point: the truth about Jesus. If you are growing in an accurate knowledge of Jesus Christ, you are winning the battle. If you are not, you are losing ground daily.
We once thought that suffering was to be avoided at all costs; now we must understand that the path to becoming more like Jesus goes through hardship, and it is much better than the path of brief and superficial comfort without Jesus. When we understand this grand purpose, we discover that suffering does not oppose love; it is a result of it (Heb. 12:8).
Humble yourself before the Lord. When you are depressed, you feel like you can’t be any lower. But an appropriate and strengthening response to the love of Christ is humility. Humility is different from feeling low. It is lowering ourselves before God and accepting his sovereign will. Humility says, “God owes me nothing.” “He is not my servant; I am his.” “God is God, and he has the right to do anything he wants.”
we must realize that sin is our deepest problem, even deeper than our depression.
when we see sin in ourselves it is a good thing. It is good on two counts. First, sin might feel natural, but we were originally created to live without it. True humanness—blessed humanness—is sinless humanness. Of course, on this side of heaven perfection is impossible, but as we battle with sin we get tastes of how we were intended to live. Second, when we see sin, it is evidence that God is close. It is the Holy Spirit who reveals sin (John 16:8). We don’t have the acumen for it. If you see it, have hope—the Holy Spirit is at work in your life. It is tangible evidence of God’s love.
we don’t always realize that sin is conscious rebellion against God. We don’t immediately see that every command arises out of God’s character, and each violation dishonors him. The entire process is much more covert. Only when the Holy Spirit shines his light on our hearts do we realize that sin is personal.
Love produces hope. If we, in our misery, are absolutely persuaded of God’s love, we will be confident that he will deliver us. Therefore, we hope in him. We can wait as long as it takes because we are sure that he hears us and loves us. He will come. He will deliver. In fact, he is on the move right now. God’s love inspires both an eagerness to be with him and a confidence that he is true to his word, so we know he will come. It is these two—eagerness and confidence—that combine to form hope.
To move from the depths to a confident hope takes practice.
God has determined that many good things come through perseverance.
Sometimes you have to force-feed yourself. You aren’t hungry. You don’t want to eat. But you know you must. Now is a time to force-feed. Your spiritual health depends on it. You are not accustomed to doing something without feeling like doing it. If you have tried it, no doubt it feels odd and mechanical. It does not feel very human because we are so accustomed to being mobilized by our passion. But be assured that this is very human. When animals have instincts—their version of feelings—they are slaves to them. You, however, can override your instincts. You can act out of wisdom and faith.
Too often we live on little scraps of meaning. It is amazing how we can survive on so little: a three-percent raise, a new pair of shoes, a one-night stand, an Internet relationship. We manage to eke out meaning and purpose from fumes. That is, of course, until you submerge into depression. Then you notice that there is no larger story, and the stage collapses.
When you observe life and listen to wise people, you will quickly find that it is not about us, which hurts our pride but is a welcome relief. We simply can’t invest our hopes, dreams, and love in the self because it was never intended to carry such freight. For that matter, there is nothing created that was intended to sustain such hopes. Creation is to be enjoyed, but we don’t put our trust in it. The only alternative is God himself.
We fear God because he is God. He is not tame and domesticated like we sometimes make him out to be.
