I have contact with the Castle not jut through the servants themselves, but also perhaps in the sense, I hope, that anyone up there who is watching me and what I’m doing – and managing the huge staff of servants is of course an extremely important and exacting part of the authorities’ work – that anyone who is watching me might judge me more leniently than others, he might recognise that I am, however pitifully, fighting for our family and continuing our father’s efforts. If that person looks at it that way, perhaps I’ll also be forgiven for accepting money from the servants and using it for
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this can't not be a metaphor for god
