The Girl with the Curly Hair - Asperger's and Me

by Alis Rowe

Learning about Asperger’s Syndrome as an adult, I notice that gender problems are quite common among us.

I don’t think mainstream schools are suitable for children with AS.

I probably loved my long distance vision of him. In reality, that vision was not real.

At 24 I am still clingy and needy for my parents and I feel totally distraught the times they go away on holiday on their own. I don’t like being so attached to them; I know it upsets them that I feel so miserable when they do their own thing without me. I just feel like I can’t handle the world on my own.

Rebe.

I do not want to be committed to someone else’s schedule

I want to be reliant upon myself and not someone else.

I really, really, hate swearing, alcohol and smoking.

It bothers me the way that drinking alcohol is so regularly publicised and almost “praised” in society and in the media.

adherence to rules

I try my best to avoid the news

I also have a strong eye for missing commas or apostrophes and I will notice if they are missing immediately.

To me, all these phrases are just inaccurate. So my personal preference is to always be straightforward with people and I’ll say things like “I’m going to the cafe to have a cup of tea. Would you like to come?” or “I don’t drink alcohol” rather than just “I don’t drink,” a phrase which seems unbelievably silly to me!

One of the reasons I like animated cartoons and movies is that their expressions and body language are exaggerated to such an extent it feels like there’s less “going on” in comparison to when there’s a real person in a film. In cartoons, the non-verbal messages are obvious.

I’ve read that having perfectionist tendencies makes you more likely to be a sufferer of depression. I’ve suffered from a somewhat “neurotic” perfectionism; in the past I’ve not been able to be happy with anything less than one hundred percent and I’ll dwell on mistakes.

If you’re struggling at work, consider speaking with your boss about the things you are good at and the things you find hard.

meltdowns and shutdowns generally compare like this:

Shutdown column seems to me more like a meltdown.

‘Imagine buying a brand new computer that works, is state of the art and in top condition. Imagine a continued usage of that computer without turning it off once. Regardless of the computer’s quality, it will always become overheated and will need to be switched off at some point in order for it to work perfectly again.’

Now imagine you are the computer that wakes up in a really good mood and in top condition. Imagine “using” yourself continually for social activities and events without once taking a break. Regardless of how happy your mood may be, it will always become difficult on occasions and you will need to switch off in order for you to work perfectly again.

The more people or things I am exposed to, the more stressful the situation becomes.

It is a restorative procedure... a sensory timeout. Not a bad mood.

Now I realise that shutdowns and clinical depression are not quite the same.

hypermobile

One of the best things a person with joint hypermobility can do is build strength,

insomnia.

Aching muscles

achy muscles.

From weightlifting! Duh!

It still takes me a long time to process left and right.

tuna, sweetcorn and mayonnaise

low thyroid levels.

Imagine if you are in a busy coffee bar trying to have a conversation with a friend. People are rushing in and out with their coffees-to-go. The music is blaring from the speakers in the ceiling. The sun is very brightly shining in through the big glass windows. Someone drops a mug and it makes a huge crashing sound. The couple next to you are having a conversation about their summer holiday plans.

I guess I’m like a cat, I like affection but only if I come to you.

It’s a number one priority for me to wash my hands as soon as I come home from being outside and I appreciate it when other people do the same.

I’ve always known that I work best independently, so being self- employed has been really good for me. I do not enjoy working as part of a team.

Having Asperger’s Syndrome has made me extremely precise so if I’m working as part of a team project, it causes me anxiety and discomfort because I feel that my colleagues won’t have the same level of attention to detail.

I don’t enjoy having my work constrained by other people in the team.

I feel that other people won’t meet my standards.

You might feel a bit of an outsider.

We tend to be very singly-focused and good at doing one thing at a time, to a very high standard.

It is easy for us to get totally absorbed in whatever we are doing. Moving us on to other things all the time can cause meltdowns.

I have to wear noise-reducing earplugs.

Being moved away from a task on to something else. If I’m in the middle of working on a certain task, I feel very angry and upset because I am more suited to focusing on one thing at a time. I cannot just shift attention that easily.

“we give most of our time to people who are not worthy of it.”

I have found most of my jobs to be too time-demanding. Most of them have required either long or inflexible hours. I cannot work in this manner, so I have found being self-employed and freelance better suited to me.

I have noticed that my friends are very straightforward. I know where I stand with them and have learned to offer that same degree of being straightforward in return. It feels wonderful to be able to tell someone “I can’t see you today. I’m socially drained and need to be alone,” rather than make up something like “I’m busy tonight, it’s my sister’s birthday.” And my friends

I realise that sometimes my thoughts and actions may appear selfish.

Sometimes I feel that I actually enjoy pursuing an interest more if I am alone rather than with someone else.

If I do too much socialising, I will “pay” for it the next day. I imagine it feels sort of like a hangover (very muggy- headed, exhausted, sick, worn out).

I am also open to the idea of a polyamorous relationship,

I would either rather do something perfectly or not do it at all -

I do not feel that I have ever experienced euphoria or joy, in the way that others do.