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"Not just me, little dhampir," he added quietly. "There's been a lot of collateral damage along the way while you battled against the world. I was a victim, obviously. But what about Jill? What happens to her now that you've abandoned her to the royal wolves? And Eddie? Have you thought about him? And where's your Alchemist?"
Collateral damage.
"Victim," I said slowly. "That's the difference between you and me."
"You said you were a victim. That's why . . . that's why ultimately, you and I aren't matched for each other. In spite of everything that's happened, I've never thought of myself that way. Being a victim means you're powerless. That you won't take action. Always . . . always I've done something to fight for myself . . . for others. No matter what."
"No," I said. "I think you're amazing. I think you're strong. But I don't think you've realized it—or learned how to use any of that." And, I wanted to add, I wasn't the person who could inspire that in him.
Adrian rested his hand on the doorknob and gave me a rueful look. "Rose, I'm an addict with no work ethic who's likely going to go insane. I'm not like you. I'm not a superhero." "Not yet," I said.
Unbidden, Adrian's words had come back to me, that the next time I was in bed with Dimitri, I should think about others who weren't so lucky. "Do you think I ruin lives?" I asked. "What? Of course not." The smile changed to shock. "Where would you get that idea?" I shrugged. "There are just a lot of people whose lives are still kind of a mess. My friends, I mean." "True," he said. "And let me guess. You want to fix everyone's problems." I didn't answer. Dimitri kissed me again. "Roza," he said, "it's normal to want to help the people you love. But you can't fix everything." "It's what I do," I
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"Actually," said Abe, "I did blow up half of Court."
"Until Lissa can get the law changed—and hopefully, she will—Jill is all that allows her to keep her throne. If something happens to Jill, Lissa will no longer be queen. So. What would you do?" "I'd keep her safe." "Then you have your answer."
Dimitri was seven years older than me, but right then, facing my parents, he looked like he was sixteen and about to pick me up for a date.
