This is extremely important when it comes to the matter of reconciliation. Let us say, for example, your best friend has had an affair with your wife. Must you forgive him? Yes, but it does not follow that you will remain close friends. If I have totally forgiven the person who has hurt me – that is, I have no bitterness – then I need not feel the slightest guilt or shame for not wanting a complete restoration of that relationship. Or even if there never was a friendship in the first place, but someone wants to destroy me, I must totally forgive them – and see it as entirely reasonable that I
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