When we have not totally forgiven those who have hurt us, it gives us a bit of pleasure to sense that they are afraid or intimidated. If, when we walk into a room with several people and see one who has hurt us (and knows it) and they freeze with anxiety, we say to ourselves, ‘Good!’, then it shows there is still bitterness in our hearts. For perfect love casts out fear, which has to do with punishment (1 John 4:18). Therefore if people are afraid, we fancy they are getting a bit of punishment – which is what we want.
