Willpower: Rediscovering Our Greatest Strength

by Roy F. Baumeister

Another broad category is the control of emotions, which psychologists call affect regulation when it’s focused specifically on mood. Most commonly, we’re trying to escape from bad moods and unpleasant thoughts, although we occasionally try to avoid cheeriness (like when we’re getting ready for a funeral, or preparing to deliver bad news), and we occasionally try to hang on to feelings of anger (so that we’re in the right state to lodge a complaint). Emotional control is uniquely difficult because you generally can’t alter your mood by an act of will. You can change what you think about or how you behave, but you can’t force yourself to be happy. You can treat your in-laws politely, but you can’t make yourself rejoice over their month-long visit. To ward off sadness and anger, people use indirect strategies, like trying to distract themselves with other thoughts, or working out at the gym, or meditating. They lose themselves in TV shows and treat themselves to chocolate binges and shopping sprees. Or they get drunk.