It's Not Summer Without You (Summer, #2)

by Jenny Han

I wasn’t in Cousins. Conrad and I weren’t together, and Susannah was dead.

When a person you love dies, it doesn’t feel real. It’s like it’s happening to someone else. It’s someone else’s life. I’ve never been good with the abstract. What does it mean when someone is really and truly gone?

I wished for Conrad on every birthday, every shooting star, every lost eyelash, every penny in a fountain was dedicated to the one I loved. I thought it would always be that way.

If I forgot Conrad, if I evicted him from my heart, pretended like he was never there, it would be like doing those things to Susannah. And that, I couldn’t do.

In the pool, on the last night of the last summer, we said we’d always come back. It’s scary how easy promises were broken. Just like that.

Conrad could turn my insides out with one look, one smile.

My father used to call Taylor indomitable. She was. But for better or for worse, Taylor Jewel was a part of me, and I was a part of her.

It was bad news, of course; bad news is the only kind that really can’t wait.

Everyone took care of Belly, she just didn’t know it.

When I was near her, I just wanted to grab her and hold her and kiss the shit out of her. Maybe then she’d finally forget about my asshole of a brother.

It had always been his call—his decision whether or not we were together.

I didn’t know, but if he’d made even the tiniest gesture, I’d have taken him back, gladly. But Conrad didn’t call.

He’d gotten to take Belly to her prom and he acted like it was some big chore. If it had been me, I would have done it right.

How do you regret one of the best nights of your entire life? You don’t. You remember every word, every look. Even when it hurts, you still remember.

And what’s she doing here?” He didn’t look at me when he said it, and it was like he’d stabbed me in the chest.

“That’s Belly.” “Belly?” she repeated. “Yup. She’s my girlfriend.” I think I choked out loud.

I knew he’d come after me. I didn’t have to turn around to know it was him.

It wasn’t the mess I was pissed about. It was Belly. Him and her, together. It made me sick.

He was full of shit. He liked her. He more than liked her. But he couldn’t admit it, wouldn’t man up. Conrad would never be that guy, the kind of guy Belly needed. Someone who would be there for her, someone she could count on. I could. If she’d let me, I could be that guy.

No matter how many times he hurt her, I knew that if he wanted her back, she was his.

Conrad raised his eyebrows at me. “A reward system, huh? What else do I get?” I flushed. “Just the cheeseburgers.”