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the BP/NP is more affected by what you want. When you call something a need when it really is not, the BP/NP will challenge you and work to convince you that you don’t actually need it. When you identify something as a want, it then becomes harder for the BP/NP to sound sane and reasonable if he or she tries to convince you that you don’t actually want what you just said you wanted.
Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life
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