It is very hard not to get involved in bargaining because you love (or have loved) the BP/NP, you’ve made a long-term investment in the relationship, you may be raising children, have a mortgage, and have a life plan that includes the BP/NP. Since the BP/NP can often look perfectly normal to outsiders, you have also probably been given a lot of advice about how to make things work from well-meaning friends, relatives, ministers, therapists, and so on.
