You may find that you have to let go of your desire to have the BP/NP do the job of taking care of you, along with letting go of any anger at the BP/NP for so rarely stepping up. You have to give up the magical thinking that by taking care of the BP/NP, he or she will love you enough to take care of you. Maybe the BP/NP will be caring of you (sometimes when he or she feels like it or has extra time or there is an emergency), but haven’t you learned by now to quit expecting the BP/NP to do what you want?
