when everyone must be alike. Your need for intimacy, however, is a deep human craving and is part of your life purpose. People in BP/NP relationships have both a great longing for intimacy because it is missing and a great fear of it because it would disrupt the pseudointimacy of the “all is one” feeling of merging that they believe keeps everyone emotionally safe and accepted. Basically, merging is exchanged for real intimacy. Since you very likely don’t have much idea what real intimacy feels like, you are not likely to want to give up merging for the unknown.
