She tends to think the sanest policy is a sort of spiritual triage, saving your efforts for those who are likely to make it with a little immediate aid—a small loan, a job recommendation, a couch to crash on for a week or two—and dispassionately ignoring the moribund. But what do you do if you don’t have the option to walk away, to hang up or hit IGNORE, because you’re bound to someone by obligation or love?
