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Letting go, the tension will be released slowly, slowly, slowly. And you will become more relaxed and more peaceful. The training is to just keep bringing your mind back to the present moment with your body.
When we have a strong emotion like fear or despair, it can be overwhelming. But with practice, we know we can learn how to embrace our fear, because we know that in each one of us there is the seed of mindfulness.
“Dear friends, the statue and the television don’t belong together because these two things are poles apart. The Buddha is for us to go home to ourselves, and the television is to help us run away from ourselves.”
We focus on our abdomen and practice mindful breathing, just giving all of our attention to the rise and fall of the belly.
When you look at a tree during a storm, you see that its branches and leaves are swaying back and forth violently in the strong wind. You have the impression that the tree will not be able to withstand the storm. You are like that when you’re gripped by a strong emotion.
When you are overwhelmed by strong emotions, don’t stay there—it’s too dangerous. Bring your focus down to your navel—that is the trunk, the most solid part of yourself—and practice mindful breathing.
If we can relax when our strong emotions come, then we don’t pass fear on to our children and to future generations.
We develop a wish for vengeance; we want to punish those who made us suffer, and we think doing so will make us suffer less.
“I have looked deeply into the state of mind of unhappy people and have seen hidden under their suffering a very sharp knife. Because they don’t see that sharp knife in themselves, it is difficult for them to deal with suffering.”
We do not like feeling afraid. Often, if we hold on to our fear, it turns into anger. We are angry that we are afraid.
If he weren’t suffering, he wouldn’t have spoken or acted in a way that hurt us. The person we love hasn’t seen a way to transform his suffering, so he just pours out all his fear and anger on us.
Many people use hurtful words against children. That knife of hurt may twist in a child’s heart every day for the rest of his life.
When you make the effort to listen and hear the other side of the story, your understanding increases and your hurt diminishes.
Our practice is to breathe and walk until we are more calm and relaxed.
Instead of coming to the other person or people with an accusation, we can come to them for help and ask them to explain, to help us understand why they have said or done those things.
With this, we may find that we have been the victim of our wrong perceptions. Most likely the other person has also been a victim of wrong perceptions.
When you take out the knife of anger and mistrust that is pointed to your heart, your heart becomes a bridge. If you can undo attachment, craving, and fear, you start to see the other shore, the shore of liberation.
Using loving speech, you can also help the other person understand your difficulties. You can help each other release those wrong perceptions, which are the cause of all anger, hatred, and violence.
The intention of deep listening and loving speech is to restore communication, because once communication is restored, everything is possible, including peace and reconciliation.
energy of mindfulness and compassion, we are powerful. When we are part of a spiritual community, we have a lot of joy and can better resist the temptation to be overwhelmed by despair.
If we try to go to the ocean as a single drop of water, we will evaporate before we ever arrive. But if we go as a river, if we go as a community, we are sure to arrive at the ocean.
You can’t feel safe if you’re not in good communication with the people you live with or see regularly. You can’t feel safe if those around you don’t look at you with friendliness and compassion.
“Dear friend, I am aware that you want to live in safety. I too want to live in safety, so why don’t we work together?”
“Dear one, I am here for you.”
“Darling, I know you are there, and I am so happy.”
“Darling, I know you’re suffering. That’s why I am here for you.”
“Dear one, I am suffering; please help.”
The four mantras work to remove fear, doubt, and isolation. They are not complicated or difficult to understand.
Once you know how to defuse the bomb in yourself, you will know how to help your friend defuse the bomb in herself.
Our beloved community, our sangha, is a group of people who together practice generating mindfulness, concentration, and insight.
When no one listens to us or understands us, we are like bombs ready to explode.
“I am listening to him just because I want to relieve his suffering.” This is called compassionate listening.
“Dear friends, this is my pain, my despair, my anger; it is too much for me. Please help to hold this block of pain and sorrow and fear in me.”
What motivated him to become a monk, to practice, was his deep desire to help people suffer less.
Loving kindness is nothing but brotherhood and sisterhood, understanding, and a nurturing love. It’s not romantic love. Romantic love is not enough. It’s short-lived. Brotherhood and sisterhood is a long-lasting love that can sustain us and help us realize our vow.
If you are alone, you may sink into the river of suffering, but if you have a community of practice to help carry you and you allow it to embrace your pain and sorrow, you will float.
“I think, therefore I am not really here.”
“Breathing in, I follow my in-breath all the way from the beginning to the end. Breathing out, I follow my out-breath all the way from the beginning to the end.”
“Breathing in, I’m aware of my whole body. Breathing out, I’m aware of my whole body.”
“Breathing in, I am aware of some tension and pain in my body; breathing out, I calm and release the tension and pain in my body.”
“Breathing in, I recognize a pleasant feeling.”
“Breathing in, I’m aware of my heart.”
“Breathing in, I know my heart is there, and I’m very happy.”
“Breathing in, I’m aware of my heart. Breathing out, I smile to my heart with a lot of gratitude.”
In the joy there’s still a little bit of excitement. Happiness is a more peaceful feeling, like contentment.
We’re free, even from our own feelings. We have to train ourselves to recognize feelings. And with mindfulness we can bring forth a feeling of well-being, a feeling of happiness, at any time.
“Hello, my fear. Hello, my anger. Hello, my sadness. I know you are there. I’m going to take good care of you.”
Mindfulness and concentration embrace the pain.
“Breathing in, I make my mind happy. Breathing out, I make my mind happy.”
“Breathing in, I concentrate my mind. Breathing out, I concentrate my mind.”
