When we stop wanting to be liked, we find that we are. When we stop catering to others and trying to manipulate their approval, we find that they do respect us. Self-denigration in the forms of placating, flattering, deference, self-effacement, and passivity are all attempts to influence others by catering to their ego, so as to get favorable treatment and get our own way. False humility merely says to the other person, “I am a small person; please treat me that way” and, of course, they promptly do.
