The evidence of this altruistic instinct can be found in the fact that one in three Americans engages in voluntary community service, and collectively we donate billions of dollars a year to charitable organizations. But we are also driven by a countervailing instinct: our fear of the unknown, of people whose cultures and values we don’t understand. This tug-of-war between our fear of strangers and our need to connect with those outside our own experience is the dynamic force that draws men and women to each other, and drives them apart. It’s what moves us to travel to foreign lands and meet
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