“When I talk to two friends who have broken up,” she said, “I often find that they have developed what I call an enemy mind. They loved each other, and now—all of a sudden—they’re saying, ‘That person was such a bitch!’ For them to feel okay, the other person has to be the bad guy. “I think that enemy mind comes out of a belief that the other person is trying to infiltrate and hurt you. We feel so vulnerable, but we don’t know why—we’re seeing everything in the wrong way. It’s a huge mistake, but we think we’re so at the mercy of external things. We think that everything around us dictates how
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