Supernatural Strategies for Making a Rock 'n' Roll Group

by Ian F. Svenonius

Once again, as far as membership, you will have to make do with the raw material you are presented with. These wretches might seem like nincompoops, squares, dodos, or goofs. It doesn’t matter. They are lumps of clay, and you must mold them as you see fit. Don’t get discouraged. People are quite plastic and can be bent and twisted to a surprising degree to make them conform to your vision. You are Dr. Frankenstein to your group’s monster. Utilize the lightning. These prospective members might just need an extra jolt or three. But remember: being a single parent is a lot of work, especially when one is playing God and engineering life itself. You will choose the members to complement each other, just as Frankenstein chose limbs—an arm here, a torso there—until the creature was complete. As with the famous doctor, your offspring might end up in various compromised positions—playing rough with children, burning to death in an abandoned windmill, floating alone on a boat into oblivion, and so on. Whoever they turn out to be, you must prize them and treat them with respect until such a time that you end the group relationship. Don’t cuckold your group like some discontent Madame Bovary, or walk a dozen paces apart from them at the truck stop.