Give and Take: From the author of million-copy bestseller THINK AGAIN

by Adam M. Grant

of which contribute to the cautiousness with which many of us approach networking. The first downside is that people on the receiving end often feel like they’re being manipulated.

When favors come with strings attached or implied, the interaction can leave a bad taste, feeling more like a transaction than part of a meaningful relationship.

If you insist on a quid pro quo every time you help others, you will have a much narrower network.

As these disadvantages of strict reciprocity accrue over time, they can limit both the quantity and quality of the networks that takers and matchers develop.

regardless of who they are, “you should be asking yourself, ‘How can I help the other person?

we can’t always predict who can help us.

One of Rifkin’s maxims is “I believe in the strength of weak ties.

Weak ties are our acquaintances, the people we know casually. Testing the common assumption that we

Strong ties provide bonds, but weak ties serve as bridges: they provide more efficient access to new information. Our strong

ties tend to travel in the same social circles and know about the same opportunities as we do. Weak ties are more likely to open up access to a different network, facilitating the discovery of original leads. Here’s the

2000,” Rifkin recalls. “Givers get lucky.

experience the opposite of paranoia: pronoia. According to the distinguished psychologist Brian Little, pronoia is “the delusional belief that other people are plotting your well-being, or saying nice things about you behind your back.” If you’re a giver, this belief may be a reality, not a delusion.

His secret was deceptively simple: he asked thoughtful questions and listened with remarkable patience.

When new members approached him, he typically spent fifteen or twenty minutes getting to know them, asking what motivated them and how he could help them. Many

Adam Rifkin has a growing number of dormant ties—people he used to see often or know well, but with whom he has since fallen out of contact.

The dormant ties provided more novel information than the current contacts.

Dormant ties offer the access to novel information that weak ties afford, but without the discomfort.

Dormant ties are the neglected value in our networks, and givers have a distinctive edge over takers and matchers in unlocking this value.

When he reactivates one of his many dormant ties, the contact is usually thrilled to hear from him. His generosity and kindness have earned their trust.

The takers were black holes. They sucked the energy from those around them. The givers were suns: they injected light around the organization. Givers created opportunities for their colleagues to contribute, rather than imposing their ideas and hogging credit for achievements.

But Adam Rifkin isn’t after their help—at least not for himself. Rifkin’s real aim is to change our fundamental ideas about how we build our networks and who should benefit from them.

He believes that we should see networks as a vehicle for creating value for everyone, not just claiming it for ourselves.

Instead of trading value, Rifkin aims to add value. His giving is governed by a simple rule: the five-minute favor. “You should be willing to do something that will take you five minutes or less for anybody.” Rifkin doesn’t think about what

Every time Rifkin generously shares his expertise or connections, he’s investing in encouraging the people in his network to act like givers.

By creating a norm of adding value, Rifkin transforms giving from a zero-sum loss to a win-win gain.

It turns out that giving can be contagious.

found that giving spreads rapidly and widely across social networks.

Of all engineers, the most productive were those who gave often—and gave more than they received.

By giving often, engineers built up more trust and

attracted more valuable help from across their work groups—not just from the people they helped.

“He has such a great reputation; people know he’s a good guy. That’s a dividend that gets paid because of who he is.

“I’ll sum up the key to success in one word: generosity,