The Edge of Reason (Bridget Jones, #2)

by Helen Fielding

Mmm. Wonder what Mark Darcy would be like as father (father to own offspring, mean. Not self. That would indeed be sick in manner of Oedipus)?

Anyway, must not obsess or fantasize.

Wonder if Una and Geoffrey Alconbury would let us put marquee on their lawn...

sounded really pissed off. Hope am not about to discover impossibility of having a nice flat, a nice job and a nice boyfriend. Anyway, am going

‘Oh honestly!’ I laughed gaily trying to fight a lurch of insecurity in my own stomach. ‘That’s just complete bollocks.

‘After someone else is he?’ said Gary in a rare and extremely unwelcome moment of lucidity.

Advising one’s own father on the suspected gigolo-hiring habits of one’s own mother is not a subject had ever seen covered in any of my books. In the end I plumped for trying to help Dad boost his own self-esteem, whilst suggesting a period of calm distance before discussing things with Mum in the morning: advice I realized I would be completely incapable of following myself.

that clung to her every fleshless bone with clearly no corset. Felt like my dad did when he put a cake into the Grafton Underwood fête and when he returned to it after the judging it had a note on saying, ‘Not up to Competition Standard.’

write full stops any more without adding co.uk.’ BAAAAAAAAAAA! ‘You do all your work assignments in HMTL Protocol.’ Blaaaaagh harhar. Braaaah. Hahah. As the room started to settle into the

Could not gauge how bad or otherwise incident was. Was like being amongst a Papua New Guinea tribe, and treading on the chief’s dog and not knowing whether the murmur of conversation meant it didn’t matter or that they were discussing how to make your head into a frittata.

Mark was shaking his head and staring at me. It did not seem to me that he really understood the theory. But maybe that was because Mark’s spiritual soul is not very advanced, which could actually prove to be another problem in our relationship.

just so happy. Do not feel angry about Rebecca but generous and accepting. She is a perfectly pleasant, posey stick insect/cow. Me and Mark had lovely v. good fun dinner with lots of laughing

then he’ll be flattered,’ said Jude. ‘There’s nothing a man finds more attractive than a woman who is in love with him.’ ‘Says who?’ said Shaz. ‘The baroness in The Sound of Music,’ said Jude, sheepishly.

smoke without fire,’ in the background. ‘In darkness the stone becomes the buffalo,’ Wellington said. ‘In sunlight all is as it is.’ ‘Thanks,’ I said gratefully, then stumbled back to the flat wondering if I could turn Rebecca into a buffalo and set her on fire without creating enough smoke to alert Scotland Yard.

off and within seconds I was plunged into the murky world of early Etruscan coinage.

to the Consul. Charlie Palmer-Thompson. Jolly good to meet you.’ He shook my hand in a manner that would have been reassuringly British had he not involuntarily wiped it on his trousers afterwards.

think of, but still. Will force heart and nerve and sinew to serve turn etc. in manner of First World War or jungle soldier or whatever Rudyard Kipling was and just hold

Ended up being forced by popular demand to perform ‘Like a Virgin’ standing on a pile of mattresses wearing the Wonderbra and sarong and using a Tampax as a microphone at which point the guard started shouting in a high-pitched voice. Looked up to see the representative to the British Consul had just been let