A Fighter's Heart: One Man's Journey Through the World of Fighting

by Sam Sheridan

Bullfight critics, ranked in rows, Crowd the enormous plaza full. But only one is there who knows, And he’s the man that fights the bull.

In muay Thai, whoever is in better shape wins.

I was discovering the key to building endurance: Push on when you feel you can’t, and next time that moment will come later.

Whoever is in better shape wins. It’s that simple.

Somebody asked me if I was looking for something. I am looking for everything.

For Tony, “The martial arts are about respect and discipline, knowledge. Fighting is different. Fighting is about ego. When we’re fighting, I’m going to fuck you up. Prove me wrong; prove to me that you’re tougher than me.” And for Tony, ego isn’t the negative “Oh, look at me” ego, it’s more about self-knowledge and total dedication to testing and pushing yourself as far as possible, a way to know everything about yourself.

“I’ve never gotten tired during a fight,” he said. “The one thing I always knew going in was that I had prepared better and harder than my opponent, that I was in better shape. I wasn’t going to get tired, and when a fight runs to twenty-five minutes, that’s really something.” I was reminded of the adage I’d gleaned from watching muay Thai in Thailand: Whoever’s in better shape wins.

But in a sense, I was kidding myself. I knew that I would probably fall into the trap of humanity: naked rage fueled by self-preservation and ego, the opposite of empathy, closing oneself off to the pain of another.

Joyce Carol Oates explains in On Boxing that “man’s greatest passion” is not for peace, it’s for war. Men, as the evolved protectors of the tribe, are wired to be more passionate about war than peace because the more warlike men were more successful in the darker ages of human prehistory.

But I fell back on those immortal words at the base of all good decision making: Fuck it.

I was going to learn what it’s like to fight hurt. That’s something everyone should know.

having a fight focuses the training and clarifies the mind; it gives you a sense of urgency that helps you learn.

“Fundamentals, Sam, fundamentals. If you don’t have them, you will run into somebody else’s.”

“The more relaxed you are, the more economy you’ll have in your motion.

“Once you get in the ring, you have to make that change that everyone is supposed to, you go in there to take care of business. I couldn’t do it. I kept trying to make it happen, but you can’t make it happen. You either have it or you don’t.” “I couldn’t turn that switch. Even second- or third-rate fighters can have it. A lot of opponents have it, and they fight their asses off. They have the heart of a fighter. They’re going to go down punching, that’s a fighter’s heart; it’s not about being a world champion, it’s about having a fighter’s heart.”

“Not a superstar but a guy who consistently beats superstars—a shining star,” Virgil said.

“I knew you guys were good down there—you were better just working out with Dre. You don’t need me every workout yelling at you; sometimes you just got to work on the things I yelled at you for last time.” He was absolutely right; sometimes you need to be left alone as a fighter to focus on your interior world, to let your concentration become total and to live in that imaginary fight and try those things again and again that you need to get right.

You’re always going to be hurt; you’ll never be a hundred percent healthy. This is fighting. But my strength is greater than my weakness.

The test is necessary. It completes the training, and it changes you.

someone who has agreed to fight you has agreed to serve as part of your test, your struggle for knowledge, your quest to make yourself better.

Having a fighter’s heart, having gameness, is about knowing yourself and not being afraid of losing. You become a better version of yourself. Nobility is a by-product of that attitude, just like love is a byproduct of aggression.

But don’t be content with being a warrior, be a builder as well. Make something. The true calling of man, real manhood, is about creation, not destruction, and everyone secretly knows it.