Diamond Heart: Being and the Meaning of Life

by A.H. Almaas

the quest for significance, for the feeling that the life we are living is worthwhile, is the real basis of all our dreams.

Those who deal with the drive for meaning by pursuing various goals and activities are actually also numbing the drive, by believing that they are fulfilling it or engaged in fulfilling it.

The activities through which we seek meaning are usually very hard to let go of, because our deep need to have something to think about, something to do, becomes as intense as the drive itself.

As long as we have a goal, even something like wanting to heal an ache in the body, there is meaning in our lives.

A creative endeavor is not the same when it is used to fill the need for significance. It becomes burdened by distraction, avoidance, and suppression.

Ultimately, the desire for meaning and significance is a search for identity. Our activities are meant to give us a sense of who we are. “What gives me significance?” When we explore this we find that it has something to do with a sense of self. “Who am I?

We cling to these things to give us a sense of identity and security.

our needs for meaning and significance pervade nearly all our endeavors.

When the central thing that gives one the impetus to live goes, whether it’s a relationship, a skill, or an ideal, there is a big emptiness left.

Our whole society not only condones this substitution of external factors for intrinsic meaning, but actually idealizes it.

Even your search for the answer can be used to give you a sense of meaning.

The purpose of all of these identifications is to fill emptiness.

Our minds are clever at avoiding the feeling that arises at the end of anything, because there is a terror of having no supporting mirrors to give us meaning. Just to exist as we are brings up a big fear of the emptiness.

little by little, the child begins to do things to get someone’s reaction or attention, to be good, or to get approval. The child begins to become fake, and after a while the innocence is gone.

If you go very deep inside yourself, you’ll see that what you take yourself to be is not real.

The most original you, your center, your spark was not seen; it was not recognized, not responded to, and often it was disapproved of and rejected. If your parents don’t have their own center, their own deep sense of self, they can’t see you.

When you know yourself, when you realize your true identity, the meaning of life does not come to you in the form of a conceptual answer to a question. It is not an answer in your mind. It is you.

If you observe yourself, you will probably discover that you have become disappointed in one thing after another.

You’re disappointed because they don’t do what you hoped they would do for you.

There is one disappointment after another until you allow yourself to fall into the great chasm, the great split. You need to allow yourself to exist in that vast emptiness. We must go through this non-existence.

When you recognize the feeling of being fake without trying to change it, and when you do not defend against it, you will feel complete nothingness, worthlessness, complete lack of support, complete helplessness.

When we allow ourselves to experience it, we might learn that emptiness is nothing, only peacefulness, and that the chasm is nothing but a boundless peace.

we have to confront this chasm from dire necessity, when we know that life is not worth it all. That’s when you totally let go to the experience and know the meaning of death. And when you know the meaning of death, you know the meaning of life.

Your true preciousness is the meaning.

the whole shift happens because the true identity is the identity with all Essence, with all of reality.

This very moment, not related to past or future, is the center, and from there you can see that you are nothing but grace.

There is no sense of separateness between the looking and the being; they are one act.

To really be oneself is to eliminate the chasm, to unify the two sides of oneself, to fully become one.

Meaning is not something we can get to with our minds; it is not an answer found in the mind. It is not an ideal or an image we’re fulfilling. It is not a result of anything. It is just falling into one’s nature.

two ways of living with regard to goals. One of them is being motivated by pursuing certain goals; this is the usual way people live in our society.

People often decide on certain goals very early in childhood. These goals are largely determined by what we call the “ego ideal.” For the normal personality, the ultimate goal is the realization of the ego ideal—to become your ideal,

when you are trying to reach a goal, you are separating yourself from your present reality. You are not living in the present, and you are rejecting who you are at the moment.

A second way is to live in the present, to be who you are at the moment, as a completeness and a fullness. This means actualizing who you are. At any moment you are who you are, and there is no need to be anything or to go anywhere.

when you let yourself be who you are instead of trying to be something different, you experience everything in your life as significant and important without even thinking of things as significant and important, by virtue of just being, just living.

the goals are not to be something; the goals are an expression and the result of who the person is at the moment.

We see that ultimately the true life is an aimless life; aimless not in the sense that it’s just drifting along with no significance, but that it is rooted in reality. It is so rooted in reality that it doesn’t need an aim. It has already attained the aim of all aims.

As the ego self, we don’t believe that we can be loved just for the mere fact of being who we are, independent of our various qualities. One of our deepest desires is to be seen and loved not because we’re helpful or original or wonderful in some way, but simply for who we are.

We believe the ego ideal is the best part of us, and we want others to see this in us.

For a child to be who he is, he needs to be seen and recognized for who he is. This admiration and recognition helps him to know himself.

Not only do we need to be seen in order to be who we truly are, but when we are not seen, we can only conclude that who we are is not good enough.

A person usually rejects who he is, but that does not mean he rejects all his qualities and capacities. He rejects the most central part of himself, which has to do with the identity of his being. So part of his being might be there but he doesn’t identify with it. He feels, “I have love,” but he doesn’t feel the love is him. He might still have intelligence but he doesn’t feel, “I am intelligence.” The identity with the quality is rejected.

Usually the quality that is most present is the one that constitutes the ego ideal, because that aspect was a strength the person had from the beginning, which probably got some support or recognition from the parents, even if it was distorted.

In the theory of holes in the Diamond Approach, you first become aware of how you try to fill the lack of an essential aspect, then you see a hole, an emptiness, where the aspect is missing. If you explore this, the essential aspect that was blocked will begin to arise.

The ego ideal is a compensation for a certain loss. Goals are also a compensation, an attempt to fill a certain hole. Society is primarily structured around these compensations. Everybody has goals and ideals and plans, and they’re all compensations for the absence of the essential self. Everyone is living his life as a compensation.

Ultimately, your gift to the world is being who you are. It is both your gift and your fulfillment. You can then exercise your capacities and abilities, attaining pleasure, joy, and fulfillment in your life.

living among people and doing what everyone does, but in your center you are in a different place. The motives you have are different from the motives of most people. You might appear to be like everyone else, but you’re not really.

you cannot try to become who you are. At some point you give up trying to be who you are. When you give up trying to be who you are, you just are.

The moment you try to do something to work on yourself, you’re separating from yourself.

The best attitude for doing the meditation is to forget about results. Forget about what will happen when you do the meditation—just do it.

What determines the value of meditation is that you do the meditation.