How Can I Help?: Stories and Reflections on Service

by Ram Dass

By dispassionately acknowledging our personal needs, we lessen their grip on our actions. More and more we simply observe rather than identify with our motives. It’s not so much that we’re trying to push them away; denial buys us no peace. Rather, we’re loosening our attachment to our motives by stepping behind them. It’s not that they aren’t at play; we’re simply offstage watching. As this happens, our motives seem to lose some of the mischievous, unpredictable power of their shadowy existence. From this vantage point we’re more able to catch sight of some need or expectation as it strives to move a situation to its own gratification, setting us up for potential frustration. We can simply note it, not get lost in it, and continue about our work with greater freedom. By simply witnessing the character and conflict of our reasons for helping out, then, we are making room for an essential change of perspective. Our actions are less hostage to our needs. We can call upon a deeper, more universal source of action, one that is steady, reliable, less likely to burn out. “We love each other. That’s enough.”