How Can I Help?: Stories and Reflections on Service

by Ram Dass

Not only does it notice our own reactivity, but it also brings into the light of awareness the actions and reactions of other parties in the situation. Now we can begin, perhaps for the first time, to hear them. Less busy pushing away suffering, less frenzied having to do something about it, we’re able to get a sense of what they’re feeling, of what they feel they need. We may be startled to discover that what they’ve been asking for all along is entirely different from what we’ve been so busy offering: “All I want is for you to sit down here next to me. I don’t care about the nurse; the IV is working fine; the bed is comfortable. Just sit with me.” Quieter now, we can recognize such a need—often without it having to be expressed, perhaps even before it’s consciously felt. We’ll just come into the room and sit down and say “Hello.”