It seems that part of the reason this works out constructively is that in therapy the individual learns to recognize and express his feelings as his own feelings, not as a fact about another person. Thus, to say to one’s spouse “What you are doing is all wrong,” is likely to lead only to debate. But to say “I feel very much annoyed by what you’re doing,” is to state one fact about the speaker’s feelings, a fact which no one can deny.
