More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
our perception is a lens through which we interpret reality; if you know how to alter that lens, you can change how people view and interpret reality.
set of associations—known as a schema—becomes activated, it can alter your perception and behavior because it would make the other associated concepts more prevalent in your mind (e.g., activating a schema of mother made the idea of motivation more prevalent,
Priming is the means by which you activate a schema or mindset.
whenever a node in our semantic network becomes activated (via some type of prime), all other nodes that are connected become activated as well, a principle known as spreading activation
If you want to trigger a more open-minded perception in your target, why not simply prime a schema of open-mindedness? In fact, exposure to words merely relating to open-mindedness (e.g., flexible, elastic, rubber, change) have been found to trigger more open-minded perceptions
Making a simple and innocent statement about someone acting open-mindedly can help activate your target’s schema of open-mindedness, and that activation will trigger a more open-minded perception.
if you prime someone’s schema for birthday, you’re likely to trigger behavior associated with gift giving.
Whenever you’re trying to persuade someone to accept a message or comply with a request, always brainstorm a possible schema that you can activate to put the odds further in your favor.
anchoring is so powerful that we succumb to it even when we recognize its influence.
By nature, humans are lazy. Though we’re motivated to produce accurate judgments, we often try to produce those judgments using the least amount of effort possible.
anchoring can produce inaccurate judgments because we often adjust from an anchor point until we reach the outermost estimate within a range of plausible judgments
assimilation: judgments have mostly adjusted toward a provided anchor. However, anchoring can also produce contrast effects: judgments can also adjust away from a provided anchor.
contrast effect, the tendency to perceive a stimulus differently depending on the surrounding stimuli.
When someone is forming a judgment, an anchor that is very extreme will trigger a contrast effect.
contrast effects occur only with semantic categories (e.g., types of food, types of crime). The good news is that nearly all numeric anchors cause assimilation.
door-in-the-face technique, the strategy of asking for a very large request and then following with a much smaller request. A large favor can trigger a contrast effect that can make another favor seem even smaller, which can help you garner higher rates of compliance with that separate request.
our expectations largely dictate our perception of the world. Whenever we develop expectations for a certain event, our brain often molds our perception of that event to match our expectations. We see what we expect to see.
If you want people to perceive something more favorably, you should convey high expectations
First impressions are absolutely critical. People’s initial exposure to your message will mold their perception for the remainder of your message. In order to maximize your persuasion, you need to create a strong initial impression so that you convey high expectations for the rest of your message.
If your target is engaging in a certain behavior (e.g., highlighting), he will feel greater pressure to develop an attitude that is “congruent” with his behavior.
Because people experience a natural urge to hold attitudes that are consistent with their behavior, you can elicit an attitude that would be favorable for your situation by altering someone’s body language or behavior to reflect that attitude.
Embodied cognition asserts that the mind and body are intertwined. We typically assume that the mind influences the body, but the relationship also works in the reverse direction.
getting your target to exude certain body language can cause your target to develop certain attitudes that would be favorable for your persuasion.
getting people to nod their head before you make your request can trigger a more agreeable state of mind.
pause or raise your eyebrows to nonverbally communicate when you want that person to acknowledge one of your points, which can then trigger a head nod.
During the moments leading up to your actual request, you should make several of those nonverbal cues for acknowledgement so that you can condition your target to nod her head.
Instead of combating that persistency, it would be much more favorable for you to wait until your target’s body language is more conducive for persuasion. Because an exposed chest (e.g., no crossed arms, no objects being held) triggers a more agreeable attitude, that type of body language can enhance your persuasion. Rather than make your request while your target is holding an object (e.g., texting on her phone), you should wait until her hands are empty and her chest is exposed
whenever our attitudes and behavior are inconsistent, we become motivated to resolve that inconsistency.
Whenever an attitude is inconsistent with our behavior, we feel a state of discomfort known as cognitive dissonance, and we become motivated to resolve it.
If you want to persuade people to develop a certain attitude, you should get them to display behavior that’s consistent with the attitude that you’re trying to elicit.
Although informational influence occurs when an answer is unclear or ambiguous, it’s replaced by normative influence when the answer is more obvious.
normative influence, the pressure to conform to avoid certain social consequences.
Do not succumb to social pressure when it comes to helping people. Always be an active bystander, even if a situation seems ambiguous. If someone appears to be in trouble, don’t diffuse the responsibility to other people. Realize that people are looking to you to determine how they should be acting,
attempts to prevent that harmful behavior will be much more effective when you point the norm toward the desired behavior, rather than the harmful behavior.
Always point the norm in the direction that you want your target to follow.
unsolicited favors can trigger a powerful sense of obligation in someone.
you shouldn’t recklessly throw compliments at your target for anything and everything. But you also shouldn’t hesitate to share genuine respect and praise for a quality that you truly admire about your target.
principle of incidental similarity explains how rapport can develop when two people discover a shared similarity, even a small and irrelevant similarity,
emphasizing any type of similarity that you share with your target.
Research shows that we’re easily persuaded by members of ingroups and easily dissuaded by members of outgroups.
dissociative group, a group from which other people try to “dissociate.”
use words like “we” and “us” to reinforce that you belong to the same ingroup.
ideomotor response, and it’s our tendency to perform behavior upon merely thinking about that behavior. People who are more easily affected by the ideomotor response will exhibit greater movement in their hands when they simply imagine their hands moving closer together.
to gain compliance, you should build greater rapport by mimicking your target’s nonverbal behavior.
Due to the powerful impact of mimicking nonverbal behavior, you should always strive to make your request in person.
familiarity principle, suggests that we develop greater positive feelings toward a stimulus if we’re repeatedly exposed to it.
Repeated exposures can generate a positive attitude toward a stimulus because they promote a greater sense of familiarity with that stimulus, which makes that stimulus seem less threatening.
The ease and speed with which we process information largely influences our perception of that information, including how much we like it. Generally, the faster we’re able to process information, the more we tend to like that information. Why? When we’re able to quickly process information, that ease of processing feels good, and we misattribute the root cause of those positive feelings. When we experience those positive feelings, we mistakenly believe that they are resulting from our fondness for the information, rather than our ease of processing (which is the actual cause).
Repetitions are powerful because they increase processing fluency; each time that we view a repeated stimulus, we’re able to process that stimulus more quickly
You can increase your chances of persuading someone to comply with a request by casually mentioning the topic of your request immediately prior to making it.
