Boundaries for Leaders: Results, Relationships, and Being Ridiculously in Charge

by Henry Cloud

if you give your people specific ways to be in control of actions that drive the organization forward, you’ll have created a distinct competitive advantage.

How much control do you think you give to people in your team and organization, making them feel empowered to affect results?

Nothing drives strong teams like great performance, and what drives strong performance is a commitment to a shared vision and shared goals with behaviors and relationships aligned with reaching those goals.

I gave the CEO an assignment to take to the team: “I want you guys to come to the offsite with four case studies of your business. Two that went really well, and two that went really badly. They can be anything you want, but I want them to be large enough to have involved either the entire enterprise or the entire executive team.”

hackles

Change behavior, and you change outcomes.

leaders get what they create, or what they allow. So, a team’s operating values create a certain kind of environment with an allowance for certain kinds of behaviors and a prohibition against others.

Values make it possible for a guiding language to develop that gives structure and identity to the boundaries of behavior we want to encourage and prohibit.

“dead fish out of the drawer,”

“give me the last 10 percent,” which is a way of telling someone, “I don’t want you to hold back on what I need to hear. Tell me the last 10 percent that is hard for you to say.”

Once they hear that, freedom to be totally honest comes, thanks to a common language. The language drives behavior.

Communicate to Understand: We seek to thoroughly understand and be understood.

We engage in respectful, collaborative, TIMELY, and complete dialogue. We clearly and directly convey ideas and share our point of view, while maintaining openness to different perspectives. We listen to understand and respectfully question to achieve clarity, IN BOTH MESSAGE AND MUTUAL EXPECTATIONS. We openly discuss critical issues, and deliver difficult messages with care. WE COMMIT TO NOT LEAVING IMPORTANT THINGS UNSAID AND WE AVOID SAYING THEM TO SOMEONE ELSE OTHER THAN THE PERSON WHO SHOULD HEAR THEM.

Urgency on the Vital: We take action on what’s important. We CONTINUALLY differentiate between what is vi...

Customer Intimacy:

Deliver: We do what we say we are going to do.

results-based method to determine which values and behaviors fit the real needs of the business.

Team building must be done not only with relationships in mind but also with the real drivers of the business in sharp focus.

A team is not a “group of people.” A team is a group of people who have a shared purpose or goal.

Is the business healthy?

‘predictable and shapable’?

from a planned-results standpoint, are we getting what we said we were going to get (i.e., predictable)? And for the specific reasons we thought we would (i.e., shapable)?”

“Trust is the starting point and makes it all work.”

giving up their own agendas for the good of the team.

When they trust one another, they know that they are for each other and for the shared interests of the team.

how do you get to that kind of trust? The only way is to work on it proactively and diligently.

it takes two components: first, a good definition of what trust is, what it means to the individuals and the team as a whole. Second, agreement on how it is going to get executed.

Here are some of the components* that I think matter most: Connection through Understanding Motivation and Intent Character Capacity and Ability Track Record

Trust Grows When We Feel Understood

people do not trust us when we understand them. They trust us when they understand that we understand them.

That takes time and attention. They need to feel it. That requires that we provide a space to get to know them, make it safe enough for them to be vulnerable, and show us what things are really like for them.

trust at two levels. They had to be able to trust each other to really say what they were thinking, and they had to trust each other that if they said it, it would be well received, even if disagreed with.

One woman said that although she knew critical feedback was good for her, and wanted it, she was so afraid of it that she had asked the team to first “say that you still like me and I’m not getting fired, and then tell me what’s wrong. I need the reassurance.” We all laughed and then she said, “I’m not kidding!”

“I am the opposite. I want it straight up—right between the eyes. I don’t want to have to guess about it. Let me have it so I know what to work on.”

“When you give me feedback, I need you to understand where I was coming from when I did whatever I did. I can’t stand to be not understood. You can tell me anything you want i...

They all desired for others to give them the hard truths. And yet, even though they wanted it for themselves, they were all afraid to give it to each other.

When a doctor really understands your life, he is better able to prescribe the right treatment. And when you really understand that he understands you and what you need, you are more likely to comply with that treatment. Then you are working together because you trust him.

staccato

I saw a few tears forming in her eyes. She finally felt understood, as she understood that I understood.

She was no longer moving against us, namely me, because she knew I understood her. She did not have to protect herself anymore. She trusted me, so she could stop resisting me and join me instead. Plus, as she described the things that were involved, I was not resisting them and was more in a role of working together to find some solutions.

Trust Grows When We Know Someone Intends to Help Us

“Intent” is key to trust.

the importance of being “for” someone in order to establish trust.

Because he is not going to look out for your interests past what he has to, and especially if it gets in the way of his.”

They are not necessarily out to get you; they are just trying to please themselves and their own agendas. To truly trust someone, we need more than that. We need to know that they are looking out for us as well as for themselves, and thinking about how things will affect us, especially when we are not there to look out for ourselves.

a CEO I know who found out that the benefits package for employees was going to cost less than they had budgeted for. Instead of just reducing the line item on the budget like his benefits VP wanted to do, he said, “We have planned for this cost, budgeted for it, and we can afford it. It was always for the employees. So let’s take the extra money and put it toward their retirement funding.” He was the kind of person who was more than neutral toward his employees. He was “for” his agenda of making a profit, and he was also “for” his employees, representing their interests even when they were not present. They had no voice at the table—oh, wait—yes they did: they had his.

Trust Grows When We Display Credibility and Character

Trust Grows When We Believe in Someone’s Capacity and Ability

Trust Grows When Someone Has Built a Good Track Record

the best predictor of the future is the past, unless there is some intervention that has made things different. That is a track record.