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‘How could I have been so fucking stupid.’ And that’s when I was finally able to cry. I cried over Vasco, Dawg, and my own stupidity, all at once. It all hurt so bad that it felt like I would never be able to stop crying.
It hadn’t been the right thing to do, walk out, and he’d realized it when he woke up the next day.
He had no idea what went wrong with Dawg. His sister was happily married and currently trying for a second kid, but this one... He sighed and shook his head.
I felt good, too, until I saw Dawg. He walked in and in a second had a beer in one hand and three girls surrounding him. ‘Swooning,’ I remembered Eliza saying.
I found Lanie, kissed her goodbye, and walked into the bathroom that was located on the way out. I halted when I saw Dawg leaning against a sink, and I almost threw up when I saw the bobbing head in front of him. He looked up when the door slammed shut behind me.
He should've taken the sweetbutt to a VIP room, but he just wanted a quick blowjob, so he took her to the bathroom and opened his jeans. Just when he was about to be able to relax and forget Edie, she walked through the door.
He was next to Bear when a sweetbutt came up to them, Bear smiled and took her hand and not that much later they walked away towards the dorm.
“Because I love you and when we have sex it’s not just about getting off or fucking. Like I've told you, this isn't fucking, it's more. And I won't get that with anyone else, or even a bunch of others.”
“Ass antlers?” “Tramp stamp, ho tag, or whatever you wanna call it. I'm not getting one.”
The bile rose in my throat when I realized that the jewelry I'd borrowed from Lanie probably was real diamonds, conflict diamonds, and I hadn't even thought about it.
“How do you defend it?” I asked. “The same way I defend smuggling pot, aiding Mexican cartels, using gasoline, drinking Coke, and buying shoes and clothes made in China by underpaid children. I don't even try because I can't. It's a fucked up world. I'm just trying to live in it, making sure that the people closest to me are having a good life.”
“I know it's hypocritical. That I care about diamonds and don't give a shit about the pot.”
It never ceased to amaze me how much these people just accepted other people’s failings. Maybe it was because they had so many flaws themselves.
“So as long as you're not planning on going to the cops to rat us out, where you are and what you do or say, doesn't matter. It won't make a difference”
“So how should I change the world now?” I asked as we walked to the car. “Fuck me if I know. I gave up on that years ago. Like I said, I keep me and mine safe and happy to the best of my abilities. I'm trying to raise my kids into good people, with good hearts, sound ideas, and a lot of love. That's problematic enough at times.”
“Think she needs to get away from Ella a little.” “Ella?” “They argue a lot. Or rather Ella yells. It's... I don't like it.”
Bear nodded. “Think Ella's just... I don't know.” He shrugged. “I live with three women, and I don't get two of them most of the time. I get Vi. She's like me.”
“How about this—next year on your birthday we get married. That way we wouldn't celebrate your birthday, but our anniversary.”
“Is this you actually asking me, or are you preparing?” “I'm asking.” “In a car?” “It's a truck, baby. But yes, in a truck. With a My Little Pony on it.”
“Yes. I'll marry you, and I promise to celebrate our anniversary every year, if you ask me properly. You can do it here in the truck, but I want it like a real question.”
