The Peacemaker

by Ken Sande

Although many Christians and their churches believe they have held on to God’s Word as their standard for life, their responses to conflict, among other things, show that they have in fact surrendered much ground to the world. Instead of resolving differences in a distinctively biblical fashion, they often react to conflict with the same avoidance, manipulation, and control that characterize the world. In effect, both individually and congregationally, they have given in to the world’s postmodern standard, which is “What feels good, sounds true, and seems beneficial to me? ” This self-validating and self-serving mind-set clashes head on with the divinely established and self-denying way of thinking God has revealed in Scripture.

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When we remember what Jesus did for us on the cross, our blinding self-absorption can be replaced with a liberating desire to draw attention to the goodness and power of God.

“A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense” (Prov. 19:11;

When a person earnestly pursues the peacemaking responses to conflict, there is a greater likelihood that he or she will eventually see reconciliation.

Let’s begin our discussion by defining conflict as a difference in opinion or purpose that frustrates someone’s goals or desires.

There are four primary causes of conflict. Some disputes arise because of misunderstandings resulting from poor communication (see Josh. 22:10–34). Differences in values, goals, gifts, calling, priorities, expectations, interests, or opinions can also lead to conflict (see Acts 15:39; 1 Cor. 12:12–31). Competition over limited resources, such as time or money, is a frequent source of disputes in families, churches, and businesses (see Gen. 13:1–12). And, as we will see below, many conflicts are caused or aggravated by sinful attitudes and habits that lead to sinful words and actions (see James 4:1–2).