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The families seemed to be involved in chronically high levels of self-perpetuating anxiety.
Parents were not causes, but rather were receptors and conduits of, as well as contributors to, a much larger multigenerational emotional process.
Bowen soon learned that, if he were to make valid observations, he must himself stay out of the complex and intense emotional patterns of the families he observed.
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The Individuality and Togetherness Forces The theory postulates two opposing basic life forces. One is a built- in life growth force toward individuality and the differentiation of a separate “self,” and the other an equally intense emotional closeness.
The individuality force pushes toward defining one’s self as separate from others. It propels one toward adopting individual beliefs, reasoning out choices, and personal autonomy. This work of building a self, with its beliefs, goals, and boundaries that are distinct from those of other people, begins early in life and, ideally, continues throughout.
people at high levels of emotional maturity (differentiation), while they would enjoy relationships, would find little need to complete themselves or route their anxiety through another person.
At lower levels of emotional maturity, on the other hand, people tend to seek comfort in relationships.
Most groups trade self among the individuals and, over time, develop relationship patterns that become locked into place.
Polarized factions often develop because people are less able to think for themselves, and instead they adopt the views of others automatically.
Different people might assume leadership roles at different times for different purposes without threatening others or competing with them.
how to keep the focus on one’s own life and life direction but still stay in open, clear communication with the other significant people in that life.
Lack of emotional attachment does not imply emotional distance from family members. On the contrary, with less emotional attachment, openness in the emotional system is more characteristic.
They grew up with other family members always completing them, fused in relationships.