Extraordinary Relationships
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Read between January 13 - January 22, 2024
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The families seemed to be involved in chronically high levels of self-perpetuating anxiety.
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Parents were not causes, but rather were receptors and conduits of, as well as contributors to, a much larger multigenerational emotional process.
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Bowen soon learned that, if he were to make valid observations, he must himself stay out of the complex and intense emotional patterns of the families he observed.
David Bedolla G liked this
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The Individuality and Togetherness Forces The theory postulates two opposing basic life forces. One is a built- in life growth force toward individuality and the differentiation of a separate “self,” and the other an equally intense emotional closeness.
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The individuality force pushes toward defining one’s self as separate from others. It propels one toward adopting individual beliefs, reasoning out choices, and personal autonomy. This work of building a self, with its beliefs, goals, and boundaries that are distinct from those of other people, begins early in life and, ideally, continues throughout.
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people at high levels of emotional maturity (differentiation), while they would enjoy relationships, would find little need to complete themselves or route their anxiety through another person.
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At lower levels of emotional maturity, on the other hand, people tend to seek comfort in relationships.
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Most groups trade self among the individuals and, over time, develop relationship patterns that become locked into place.
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Polarized factions often develop because people are less able to think for themselves, and instead they adopt the views of others automatically.
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Different people might assume leadership roles at different times for different purposes without threatening others or competing with them.
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how to keep the focus on one’s own life and life direction but still stay in open, clear communication with the other significant people in that life.
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Lack of emotional attachment does not imply emotional distance from family members. On the contrary, with less emotional attachment, openness in the emotional system is more characteristic.
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They grew up with other family members always completing them, fused in relationships.