Since, theoretically, two people are not attracted to each other unless they are on the same level of differentiation, each person, if the relationship is not going well, contributes his or her 50 percent to the problem. Therefore, if either person in a relationship increases his or her own level of emotional maturity, the relationship will gradually improve. The improvement will be uneven because partners improve their functioning at different times. Typically, one partner starts the process by improving functioning or taking a stand for self in the relationship. Then the initiating partner
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