The goal of decreasing one’s reactivity to the other’s emotions is often perceived as distancing oneself from the other person. But distance is itself an emotionally patterned reaction. If one leaves the scene or stops one’s half of the conversation, that too is emotional intensity. The goal is not to react as emotionally intensely and to continue to stay in calm communication with the other person. This is not easy to attain, but simply having it in mind is useful.
