The Fall

by Albert Camus

The essential is being able to permit oneself everything, even if, from time to time, one has to profess vociferously one’s own infamy.

How intoxicating to feel like God the Father and to hand out definitive testimonials of bad character and habits.

And as for me, I pity without absolving, I understand without forgiving, and above all, I feel at last that I am being adored!

I must be higher than you, and my thoughts lift me up.

Such nights, or such mornings rather (for the fall occurs at dawn), I go out and walk briskly along the canals.

But when you don’t like your own life, when you know that you must change lives, you don’t have any choice, do you? What can one do to become another? Impossible.

I have arranged everything so as to make myself an accomplice:

You would arrest me then; that would be a good beginning. Perhaps the rest would be taken care of subsequently;

I would be decapitated, for instance, and I’d have no more fear of...

Above the gathered crowd, you would hold up my still warm head, so that they could recognize themselves in it and I ...

Are we not all alike, constantly talking and to no one, forever up against the same questions although we know the answers in advance?

“O young woman, throw yourself into the water again so that I may a second time have the chance of saving both of us!”

But let’s not worry! It’s too late now. It will always be too late. Fortunately!