Start with No: The Negotiating Tools that the Pros Don't Want You to Know

by Jim Camp

Rather than set out on the sometimes long, hard road of painting vision and pain, many negotiators make the fatal mistake of thinking they can convince someone to make the rational decision to do something, to buy something, to see something the same way they see it. They offer up reasons, facts, figures, and charm that they are sure would make any rational person see things the way they see them. In fact, most negotiators think of the gift of gab as one of their greatest assets. But what’s the problem with trying to convince someone to see the same thing you see? You know the answer to this question, but let’s go ahead and spell it out. To begin with, you’re asking your adversary to come into your world and to see your world. And where do we want to spend our time in a negotiation? In the adversary’s world. Second, if we’re busy giving reasons to our adversary, we’re too busy talking; we’re totally in our world and impeding our ability to blank slate. Finally, and most important of all, we’re forgetting that decisions are made not with our head but with our heart and guts, first of all. Remember, negotiations are 100 percent emotional until a decision is made.