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by
Will Bowen
“If you don’t like something change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain”
twenty-one consecutive days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping.
Complaining never attracts what you want; it perpetuates what you do not want. As Wayne Dyer put it, “If you’re not happy with what you have, then why would you want more?”
What we receive is not news. Bestselling author Esther Hicks recently commented that if the news were an accurate reflection of the day’s events, twenty-nine minutes and fifty-nine seconds of a thirty-minute broadcast would be good things that occurred, and the bad news would be just a one-second blip on the screen. What we call news is actually Bad News.
Your thoughts create your life and your words indicate what you are thinking.
It typically takes four to eight months to reach twenty-one consecutive days.
Don’t be a bracelet cop. This is not about what other people are or are not doing. If you want to point out another person’s complaint and tell that person to switch his or her bracelet, switch your bracelet first!
the average person complains fifteen to thirty times a day, let’s say an average of twenty-three complaints per person per day,
“Gang violence always begins with one person complaining to or about someone in a rival gang. No complaints means no violence.”
we think about 70,000 thoughts every day. Trying to monitor each thought is futile. Consider a simpler, proven approach: Stop complaining and your thoughts will become more positive.
The four stages to competency are: 1. Unconscious Incompetence 2. Conscious Incompetence 3. Conscious Competence 4. Unconscious Competence
many people today are living in the safest, healthiest, and most prosperous time in all of human history. And yet what do they do? They complain.
“Those who hurt are hurting.”
Complaining is like bad breath. We notice it when it comes out of someone else’s mouth, but not when it comes out of our own.
One day at a time. You can do it.
Without the Dunning-Kruger effect, if you knew the amount of effort it would actually take to become proficient at a new skill, you would probably give up before you began.
A complaint is an energetic statement that focuses on the problem at hand rather than the resolution sought.
Change what you are saying, and your thoughts will change,
I had also received attention, support, and validation. My drug had kicked in. I had found my addiction. Complaining could get me high.
“Many complaints involve attempts to elicit particular interpersonal reactions from others, such as sympathy or approval.”
You may have complained about your health to get sympathy or attention and/or to avoid stepping up to do something you were afraid of doing.
As soon as you begin acting like the person you wish to become, you are that person. The first step to being different is to act like the person you aspire to become.
Life is not static. Life is a constant shift. When you are sick, you’re either getting sicker or getting better.
doctors estimate that 67 percent of illnesses are a result of “thinking sick.”
He who avoids complaint invites happiness.
unhappy relationships are most often distinguished by how much complaining occurs within the relationship.
When you experience pain, either real or imagined, your body squirts a shot of endorphins into your bloodstream.
complaining triggers pain, pain triggers endorphins, and endorphins get you high.
We are all energy beings, and energy that does not vibrate at the same frequency does not harmonize. Like attracts like.
Relationships serve two purposes: 1. Fun 2. Growth
Triangulation is complaining, and it perpetuates rather than solves problems.
You wouldn’t notice the faults in someone else if they were not also your faults.
begin to love and accept your quirks—those same quirks in others will cease to disturb you.
What you admire about another person is also within you.
To improve your relationships, don’t wait for others to stop complaining. Commit to being the positive force in the relationship.
Complaining is a competitive sport. It is always progressive. If someone complains about having sprained an ankle while skiing, another person will tell a story about breaking a leg.
Complaining in groups always increases in severity.
Gandhi said, “We must live what we want others to learn.”
the best way to get others around you to complain less is for you to become a Complaint Free person. Others will sense your positive energy and be less likely to offer negativity.
If your intention is to fight complainers, you will have a much more difficult time than if you first tolerate and accept them.
G.R.I.P.E.: Get attention Remove responsibility Inspire envy Power Excuse poor performance
We now set Mondays aside as NO MOAN MONDAYS.
People will often complain simply because they want attention from others and can’t think of another, more positive means of getting the notice they crave.
Here’s a great technique to get the conversation off on a positive note. Ask, “So, what’s going well with … [you, your family, your work, your hobby, etc.]?”
When someone complains to Get attention, ask, “What is going well for you?”
The complainer will either begin to complain less to you or begin to avoid you.
When a person says, “It can’t be done,” your response should be “If it was possible, how might you do it?”
The underlying message behind gossip is that the gossip feels superior to the person being gossiped about and wants you to acknowledge this.
“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.”
negative advertising is used frequently in political campaigns because it works. Elections are not won by getting enough people to vote for a candidate; they are won by getting enough people so disgusted that they either do not vote or vote for the opposing candidate.
