The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom

by Henri J.M. Nouwen

I can really relate to this. I am looking to my congregation to give me the affirmation of my belovedness that can only come from God, from going “home.” Their complaints, their requests, their needs are not about me. They are asking for compassion. As long as I seek to find my “well done” from them, they will remain threats and enemies and false gods. To love and serve them as I am called to do, I must fist find my belovedness from God my Father.

You cannot force things, however. You cannot make yourself see what others see. You cannot fully claim yourself when parts of you are still wayward. You have to acknowledge where you are and affirm that place. You have to be willing to live your loneliness, your incompleteness, your lack of total incarnation fearlessly, and trust that God will give you the people to keep showing you the truth of who you are.

Be patient and trust.

There will be a bit more pain and struggle. You have to dare to live through it. Keep walking straight. Acknowledge your anguish, but do not let it pull you out of yourself. Hold on to your chosen direction, your discipline, your prayer, your work, your guides, and trust that one day love will have conquered enough of you that even the most fearful part will allow love to cast out all fear.