The Tools

by Phil Stutz

The most important opportunities in life come from other people.

Inside each of us is a second self, a living being we’re deeply ashamed of. No matter how hard you try, you can never get rid of this second self.

The “Shadow” is everything we don’t want to be but fear we are, represented in a single image. It’s called the Shadow because it follows us wherever we go.

The Shadow is one of many “archetypes” we’re born with. An archetype is a patterned way of perceiving the world. For example, everyone is born with a sense of what a mother should be like. Jung would call this the “archetypal” mother. This is an archetype, not to be confused with your real, biological mother. However, this archetype does shape what you expect from your real mother. There are many archetypes—Mother, Father, God, the Devil, to name a few—and each has a profound effect on how you experience the world.

Watch little kids, particularly when they’re playing. They aren’t self-conscious or insecure. They express themselves freely and exuberantly. They almost never freeze.

The Shadow makes true human connection possible—it’s the part of us we all share. Without it, we exaggerate our differences from others; we feel separate from them. Relationships—between different individuals, religions, nations—can work only when we use our Shadows to create a universal bond.

In short, gratefulness is a higher organ of perception, through which you can accurately appreciate a fundamental truth: the universe works—mysteriously—and you’re the constant beneficiary of its generosity.

For peace of mind to be lasting, therefore, it must come from someplace where you are always nurtured and supported.

We like to think of ourselves as finished products—complete on our own. We’re not. To be whole, we need to stay connected to something beyond ourselves. The constant effort that requires means that a human being can never be more than a work in progress.

For most of us, the truth—that every moment counts—is too much pressure to bear. It would mean giving our all, all of the time.

We gravitate toward the familiar, even if it’s not good for us, because we lack the will to push through that fear.