Help for Billy: A Beyond Consequences Approaching to Helping Challenging Children in the Classroom

by Heather T. Forbes

children cannot be expected to undertake certain tasks until they have reached a certain psychological maturity.

Piaget made the important point that children develop in stages and that the success of one stage is dependent on the mastery of the previous stage.

“pockets of brilliance.” These children may appear brilliant in certain areas, but in reality they are still lacking in some of the critical cognitive areas.

Because an increase in cognitive development may be driven by survival, the Billys of the world tend to be more concrete in their thinking.

Billy tends to demand answers that are definitive, without being able to comprehend that more than one answer may exist.

Ask Billy to read a paragraph and he can comprehend everything that was explicit in the reading. However, ask him to describe an implicit concept such as “What was the main idea in this paragraph?” and he will become confused and lost, appearing as if he was lying about even reading the paragraph.

Research has shown that language development begins prior to birth. The fetus becomes familiar in utero with the sounds and speech patterns of its mother’s voice.

Social interactions with parents and other adults who lovingly engage and respond to a child’s questions and conversations are critical to the child’s language development. Children need adults to take the time to listen, talk, read, sing, and play games with them.

Words can be confused with other words.

Nebulous communication creates confusion and misinterpretation. Intended meanings behind words and phrases are lost. Words with multiple meanings are baffling and aggravating, as seen in the following scenario:

Billy can easily misinterpret his teacher’s instructions, become frustrated when trying to communicate, and miss major concepts at story time because of his lack of language acquisition.

As he becomes unable to understand the world around him, Billy acts out in frustration.

The teacher is unable to understand him, sees his behavior as defiance, and then reprimands him. Billy becomes more confused and disorganized in his thinking as this scenario unfolds day after day, because all along the...

Billy derives from this scenario that he is bad, stupid...

Trauma impacts a child’s ability to concentrate, organize, and process information.

So by age sixteen, Billy may still be unable to keep his backpack organized, his note-taking skills are probably nonexistent, and he likely has no ability to plan out the timing of a four-week project.

Due to traumatic early childhood experiences, children like Billy may still be more like a toddler

(and in some cases,

the child’s social development is so arrested he can be as socially de...

They have been locked into a negative loop and simply expected to change without the proper help; they are stuck.

These children do not know how to: Make friends Show empathy toward others Wait patiently Communicate anger in a healthy way Resolve conflicts peacefully Follow rules Maintain appropriate personal space Respond kindly to someone who is hurt Enjoy the company of others

Maintain eye contact Express themselves emotionally Correctly read nonverbal communication Tolerate u...

Billy—he can actually repulse and repel people.

Billy’s gaps are recognized and given appropriate support (such as working in a social skills group, being gently reminded in the classroom as to what an appropriate response would look like, and having his teacher model good social skills), Billy has a chance to fill in the gaps and catch up to his peers.

Motor skills take practice and repetition in a stimulating environment in order to become automatic and develop to their optimal level.

Sensory skills such as hearing, vision, and touch are responsible for a child receiving information from his environment. The motor skills then give the child the ability to express the information received from his sensory pathways. In severe cases, children deprived of proper nutrition, stimulating care, and basic nurturing will become arrested in their physical growth, known as failure to thrive.

child like Billy may be years behind in his ability to manipulate a pencil. His fine motor skills may be delayed; thus, his ability to coordinate the brain with his hand during writing time in the clas...

His body may be highly sensitive to noises, bright lights, and other sensory-provoking elements in the environment. His body cannot properly filter out and prioritize sensory information, so he gets flooded and overwhelmed easily. Billy may be physically smaller than his peers, creating a fear dynamic in both the classroom and playground because he feels more vulnerable. All of these factors would ulti...

Billy enters the classroom with negative internal messages instilled in him

“You shouldn’t feel that way.” “You’re just being a baby. It’s no big deal” “When people are angry, you will get hurt.” “It isn’t safe to feel.” “You don’t show your feelings—you’ll upset those around you.”

becomes a ticking time bomb.

This over-reactive response is not just about the ball; it is an outpouring of the depth of feelings that were locked down from earlier experiences.

At age seven, Billy has the emotional maturity of a two-year-old.

our belief is our reality.

our beliefs are negative, pessimistic, and limiting, then the result will be a negative, pessimistic, and limiting existence.

The neocortex does not fully develop until a person is twenty-five years of age, in an optimal environment.

Conception to Birth. Belief systems begin in the womb and are highly influenced by the mother, the first human connection of the fetus.

If the pregnancy is unplanned and the mother does not want to be pregnant, these feelings will transfer to the fetus. He

will feel as if he is unwanted an...

The foundation of the baby’s “lovability” and self-worth is encoded into the cells of his body these first nine months.

Birth to Two Years Old.

this connected and entwined relationship, all that is the mother’s belief becomes the child’s belief, as it did in the womb.

Two Years Old to Ten Years Old.

child begins to develop his own identity, his own programs, and his

own be...

At this point in development, the brain is still only a receiver.

The brain at this stage of life does not have the capacity to process or filter out the negative. It internalizes everything.

They learn to distinguish acceptable and unacceptable social patterns according to their immediate environment.

These perceptions have been downloaded into the child before age six, and they shape and influence how the child will interact with others from this point forward.1

Ten Years Old to Sixteen Years Old.