But what to apply this strength to — that’s something I’ve never seen, I don’t see it even now, despite your encouraging words in Switzerland, which I believed. I am still, as I have always been, capable of wanting to do a good deed and I take pleasure in this; at the same time I want evil as well, and I also feel pleasure. But both feelings are too shallow, as always before, and they are never enough. My desires are too weak; they can’t guide me. You can cross a river on a log, but not on a chip of wood.
