The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge

by Beatrice Chestnut

If I am spontaneous in my actions or feelings, others will disapprove, I will feel embarrassed, or I will feel out of control or expose m...

It’s better and safer to feel my emotions when I am by myself (and not when I am in...

Knowledge is...

Knowledge is best attained through observation, research, and the collection and comp...

A focus on thinking supports the Five’s desire to observe and reflect on life instead of participate in it actively, in spontaneous ways.

Naranjo thus likens the satisfaction Fives seek in thinking to a “replacement of living through reading.”

Intense thinking activity also serves the purpose of helping Fives prepare for life, a preparation that they always feel like they need to do more of because they never feel ready enough.

Fives’ thinking tends to focus on figuring things out, preparing for interactions, and engaging in mental classification and organization.

They are also attracted to thinking because it supports looking competent, which can be a way of hiding or a way of communicating your value without revealing too much of yourself.

Drawn to tools and systems of knowledge, Fives feel most comfortable when they are gathering data and figuring things out using their intellect.

One of the easier ways for them to form connections with others is through the sharing of knowledge and expertise—both as a way of demonstrating their competence and participating in a kind of connection that is less threatening.

Type Fives’ lack of engagement with their own emotions also causes them to have little tolerance for other people’s intense emotions. And while this characteristic can make Fives seem cold, unfeeling, or unempathetic, this lack of obvious empathy simply reflects the Five’s defensive stance, not an intentional or mean-spirited disregard.

Type Fives’ habit of automatically detaching from feelings serves the function of guarding against the experience of the pain of loneliness, fear, hurt, powerlessness, and emptiness.

Fives can also be very sensitive toward others, though they usually don’t show it. Their tendency to withdraw might be seen as a defensive reaction that expresses a desire to avoid having to feel the pain of others, since empathizing with others’ pain can seem daunting and potentially exhausting in light of their hypersensitivity.

Fives may habitually separate themselves from their own feelings and other people such that their potential for relationship and connection remains hidden in their Shadow.

Fives may believe they just don’t like to be too close to too many people and so resign themselves to not being very connected to others—or to maintaining very few close relationships. As this tends to be what feels safe and comfortable, Fives may not feel motivated to challenge their limited need for people.

While many Fives say they do want love and connection, most also focus on maintaining firm boundaries. They anticipate being depleted, and they don’t see that they only perceive their energy as a scarce commodity because their defensive “self-system” has led them to believe in their inner energetic poverty and motivated them to wall themselves off and live on very little.

Their potential for having abundant energy exists in their Shadow. The truth they don’t see is that they have the capacity to generate more internal resources and a greater wellspring of energy, especially if they allow for more support and nurturance from the outside. Their belief in their inner scarcity blinds them to the greater possibilities for abundance in adulthood.

Conflict threatens to force Fives to expend energy they believe they don’t have, so they avoid conflict and can...

While Fives can bring significant strength to bear in establishing boundaries, their sense of inner impoverishment can blind them to their (healthy) aggression, t...

When Fives buy into their own limitations, they may experience themselves as not interested in relating to others in deeper ways, and that can become their reality. It is only the Five’s conditioned personality that is limited in its ability to actively express and receive love, not their true self—but as long as Fives believe that their capacities for love and intimacy are limited, their true ability to love and be loved remains hidden from them in their Shadow

Further, Dante highlights one more feature of the Type Five character, as he portrays the Miserly as “unrecognizable”—the Pilgrim cannot recognize anyone of these sinners because their concern with wealth left them undistinguished in life. Thus, Dante symbolically communicates the shadow effect of Avarice on the individual: by holding on and holding in, you end up carrying a heavier load (rather than a lighter one) and wind up being impossible to be seen and related to in the world of others.

The Self-Preservation Five is the most “Five-ish” of the Fives. These Fives express avarice through their passion for hiddenness or for having sanctuary.

Self-Preservation Fives have a need for clearly defined boundaries. This personality is the clearest expression of the archetype of isolation and introversion.

They have a feeling of having to be on guard and a difficulty with expressing anger, though they may communicate anger passively by withdrawing and hiding or going silent.

Self-Preservation Fives’ need for hiddenness can create difficulties with self-expression in general; this subtype is the least communicative of the three Five subtypes. Their passion for hiddenness also manifests in taking covert action: they act in secret so their actions do not compromise their ability to keep their guard up.

Naranjo explains that, normally, people have some ability to say, “I want that”—to express desires and do the work they need to do to get what they want—but these Fives cannot ask and cannot take. So they must rely on preserving what they are able to acquire themselves.

In relationships with others, Self-Preservation Fives avoid creating expectations or dependent relationships. They also avoid conflict, which is another way they detach from people. They do, however, typically experience a strong sense of attachment to a few places and people.

While they may at times choose to share feelings with a trusted few people in their lives, Self-Preservation Fives have strong inhibitions against showing aggression in particular. They will very seldom show their anger. However, they do have a kind of warmth and humor that is both a genuine expression of their internal sensitivity and a defensive construction or social shield. In social interactions, this can give their superficial acquaintances the feeling that a bond has been established when the Self-Preservation Five has merely been studying or placating them, not necessarily initiating a relationship.

I am often told that I am a good listener. The truth is that I have become an expert on asking just the right kind of questions—those that will keep the other person talking while at the same time allowing me to maintain a comfortable distance from any topic that might require me to engage more fully.

Under most circumstances, I do not like talking about myself, and someone who pushes me in this regard will feel intrusive.

I rarely ask for favors. While I am happy to help out a friend in need, the reciprocal nature of favor-doing feels suffocating to me. I work very hard to make sure that my life is organized and structured in a way that will require little assistance from others.

Only in the most extreme of circumstances will I reach out for help, and then I will find myself immediately buying a thank you gift to absolve myself of any perceived indebtedness. In general, feeling needed by others just feels like the other person is being too needy.

My most peaceful moments are when I have limited obligations and can be on my own schedule, independent, and at home. Time by myself is rejuvenating—and spending...

Intrusions and unexpected visitors are difficult to manage. I keep neighbors at an arm’s length and avoid the yea...

Social Fives are looking for the ultimate meaning in life, motivated by an underlying (potentially unconscious) sense that things are meaningless unless the ultimate meaning is found.

They look for meaning to avoid a fearful sense that the world is meaningless, but in their search for meaning they orient themselves so much toward finding the quintessence of life—the extraordinary—that they may become disinterested in everyday life.

In their search for meaning, these Fives can become spiritual or idealistic in a way that is actually counter to real spiritual attainment, because it bypasses compassion and empathy and the practical level of how people connect to each other in ordinary life. This tendency is the prototype of what is sometimes called a “spiritual bypass,” in which a person looks for and devotes himself to a higher ideal or a valued system of knowledge as a way of avoiding doing the emotional and psychological work he would need to do to grow and develop.

They may believe they are transcending their ego, but their adherence to their spiritual values or practice is their way of escaping from their everyday emotional reality into a “higher” intellectual system that they have idealized. Any type can spiritually bypass, but the Social Five is the prototype of someone who employs this as a defensive strategy.

Social Fives prefer not to feel. They can be mysterious and inaccessible, or fun and intellectually engaging. They may hide out in the pose of an expert, and they tend to have a sense of o...

These Fives may imagine that they are superior to others because of their higher values and ideals. Although they would never (intentionally) sho...

Like the search for the extraordinary of the Social Five, the ideal kind of connection this Five searches for represents a very high standard. Sexual Fives seek something like the ultimate mystical union—an experience of the divine in human relationship. And this can also happen with the search for good friends or a spiritual teacher.

For all of us, waking up to habitual personality patterns involves making ongoing, conscious efforts to observe ourselves, reflect on the meaning and sources of what we observe, and actively work to counter automatic tendencies.

For Fives, this process involves observing the ways in which they perpetuate their own sense of inner depletion; exploring the ways they maintain a sense of safety by erecting boundaries and limiting contact with others; and making active efforts to expand their comfort zone in social interactions.

It is particularly important for them to learn to challenge their beliefs about inner scarcity, open up to receiving more nourishment from the outside, and regain a greater sense of inner aliveness and vital...

Observe your tendency to operate from the assumption that your time, energy, and other resources are scarce. What ideas do you have that you are basing this kind of thinking on?

Notice any worry you feel or thoughts that arise about not having enough energy to do things or interact with people. Note what kinds of experiences make you fixate on your energy level.

Observe any ways you hoard time, materials, or private space. Notice if you withhold yourself or your input from others, how you do this, and what you are th...

Can you catch yourself in the act of detaching from your feelings or distancing yourself from something or someone that might stir up emotion?

Are there some emotions you feel more than others? Are there some emotions you avoid more than others? Notice when you delay feeling your emotions until you are alone.